Intimacy matters in a relationship- Understanding and Accepting Sex

Sex is a fundamental part of womanhood. Throughout life, sex is the driving force that creates energy, life and attraction all around us. Why do you think sex sells (Harsh but true)? To deny our ties to sexuality and intimacy and our own needs for sexual fulfilment is to deny our existence. Sex is how we were created and how we recreate. It is a natural part of life. Understanding and accepting your sexuality will lead you to pleasure, confidence and a more fulfilling relationship with your partner.

If you understand this concept, you can accept your intimate feelings and are able to better express yourself in that area to your partner. More importantly, it makes you feel good about yourself.

Even though it is used to sell everything from chocolate and ice cream to cars and aftershave, this generation is less likely than previous generations to be adventurous. There are too many sexually transmitted diseases out there nowadays. There are too many stereotypes.

Throughout your lifetime and your relationship with your partner, your intimacy needs change. A new baby, a new job or a new partner can change your intimacy desires considerably.

You can't have a fulfilling intimate life if you don't understand and accept your own sexuality. Stay in touch with your partner by talking, touching and kissing. Talk openly and honestly about your intimate needs and desires. Take time for each other, have fun with it and most of all, ENJOY being physically close. Don't let the fear of change hold you back. Having a healthy intimate relationship with your parter is vital to your emotional and physical well being. The intimacy part of your relationship is very important. I know alot of people say that sex shouldn't really be that important in a relationship. That's a lie!! Fact of life, it is important and it is definately an area that you should focus on and put effort into if you really want to have a "good relationship"

What is a good relationship
Here is the link to one of the first posts on exactly what a good relationship is

Fighting fair in relationships

Fighting fair in relationships- Why is it absolutely essential to a strong relationship? Every relationship has conflict. If you don't fight fair though, there will never be true romantic love. Why? because one of you if not both will consistently harbor resentment towards the other. I read an awesome quote last week "It takes two to speak the truth. One to speak and the other to hear" That is very true.

When two people fight, there's naturally going to be a reaction in one or both people. That reaction is usually anger or rage. The way we handle these reactions determines whether or not our love will grow or whether it will die. Men need to learn a way to listen without making their partner's feelings seem unimportant. Women need to learn a way to approach their partners without criticism and nagging. Women tend to become alot more emotional than men when conflict arises. Men will tend to become distant whereas women tend to nag on the issue because they need to show their emotions. Women also tend to be more insecure than men.

Some tips for fair fighting in a relationship

Don't blame - Make suggestions instead. Also before discussing, try role reversal. Put yourself in your partner's shoes for a moment and try to picture the conflict from their point of view.

Deal with one issue at a time. Don't bring up multiple issues at once. That is mental overload on both of you. DON'T continuously bring up past issues into current issues.

Men shouldn't run away during a fight. If you feel you need a time out- ask for one. Reassure your partner that you want to continue to talk about but you just need to take a mental time out. Women shouldn't follow your partner if they need that time out. Give a little space.

Only one person should talk at a time. If you need to set a timer, do so. I know that might sound a bit crazy but make it that each person gets 2 minutes at a time. Don't speak while your partner is speaking. LISTEN!!! Ask them to do the same while you are speaking. Again, always try to see the fight from your partner's view as well as your own.

Fair fighting in a relationship is a committment to your relationship, a committment to each other. It helps to understand each other and each other's needs.

The goal in fair fighting in a relationship is to get the anger out, get the hurt out, get those feelings validated without alienating your partner.

Remember, you love each other for a reason. You chose to be together for a reason. Take responsibility for your faults as well. Remember, if you are the wrong one, Say I AM SORRY. Don't let pride get in the way. Don't always expect to resolve issues all at once. No matter what the experts say, it is OK to go to bed mad sometimes. All issues can't be resolved right away

If you enjoyed reading this post, check out the post on what a good relationship is. Here is the link

What is a good relationship?

Have you ever looked at your relationships and wondered what was missing? You can never seem to find that someone special or that special bond that you see some of your friends sharing with their spouse or significant other. Have you ever asked yourself "What is wrong with me" or "Why can't I find that"?

What makes a relationship really work? It's easy to fall in love but how do you stay in love?

A good relationship (a healthy relationship) has been proven to boost happiness, reduce depression and provide a more financially stable background.

It has been proven that people are not really in touch with their relationships. Too many people wait until it is too late to save the relationship before they start to try. Getting rid of your partner (if your partner is an overall good person) does not solve the problem. Especially when you may not even realize that half the problem lies within yourself. It takes two to make a relationship work and there is no such thing as a perfect person. When you look at your partner, you can't just see the bad qualities in that person, you need to remember all the good qualities that made you fall in love in the first place. So many relationships fail because two people simply forget how to understand each other.

Lack of understanding and communication causes unresolved anger. Males and females are naturally made up of different components. We have different weaknesses and different strengths. Just think, if we were the complete same as our partner, how boring would that be? No matter how different we are though, we all have the same deep down inner needs, the need for desire, intimacy and love. We all long for that closeness. Stop what you think is the "fair" thing to do and start doing what is going to make your relationship really work.

Alot of relationships that fail could have actually been saved. No matter how long you have been together, you can learn how to make your relationship work.

My husband and I were together for 6 years before we got married. Within 4 months of marriage, I thought we were heading for divorce. The arguing got so bad that he totally withdrew from me. One morning, I woke up and realized that I didn't want to live without my husband. I sat down and wrote a list of things that I (not him but me) was doing wrong. Yes, those words taste like vinegar when I say alot of the issues were stemming from me (not all but alot). When I made a few changes both emotionally and physically, it was amazing how my relationship turned around. Today, my marriage is very strong. We are what we were 8 years ago, BEST FRIENDS!!

Here is a pic taken of me and my husband on New Years Eve (Dec 31, 2011) I love my husband and it took alot of work to get where we are today (after 8 years of being together) If you look at my husband's hand on my arm, he has that protective nature of me. He doesn't even realize it. I showed him this picture and when I told him how much the picture touched me, he was like "huh"?? LOL Moral of the story: Men aren't always so bright so just need a little guidance. My husband does have such a protective, caring way with me and he doesn't even realize it. He's always looking out for me. He cherishes me and everything I do (as well as I do him) and that is so important. Just learn to cherish each other. He's my very best friend in the world. We have learned to appreciate each other's strengths and accept each other's faults.


Relationship Failure - What causes it? There are so many traits that cause relationship failure.

Tip to a truly happy, healthy relationship Click Here!

Do you ever find yourself feeling so envious of that friend of yours that seems to have the perfect life (I think we all have that friend :-) They have a great relationship with their partner (they are like best friends with each other), a great house, good kids, good job and so on. You look at them and think "What is wrong with me" Why don't I have that? I am just as good as them, so Why can't I find that happiness?

You search so hard for that perfection and the perfect person (which none of us are perfect so you will never find that) Even that perfect friend has their flaws. Unfortunately, that search for perfection either keeps us single or keeps us in an unhealthy relationship that is destined for relationship failure.

Why does this happen? Simple truth is your are simply avoiding facing reality. We never want to admit that we once again made a bad relationship choice and that is absolutely normal. Nobody likes to admit failure of any kind. Nobody is perfect. We all make mistakes so you need to ask yourself this question- How do I avoid making that same relationship failure mistake again and again?

Fact is relationship failure is one of the biggest causes of unhappiness and stress in life and learning to have a successful relationship is one of the most important skills we can learn. Is it easy to learn? Not necessarily. With learning, there needs to be change. Alot of us don't like change but change can be a great thing and can be the key to alot of happiness.

The most common reasons why relationships fail are as follows (aside from finances and stress of raising children):

* Jealousy and Possessiveness- Everybody needs their own personal space. Every relationship needs trust- Without trust, you will almost surely have relationship failure. Once trust is broken, it is very hard- damn near impossible- to get back.

* Selfishness- Don't always put your own needs first. Try to always put yourself in your partner's shoes. Always try to look at situations from both sides (yours and his) and give yourself some constructive criticism. Remember, true love should be a selfless act- given without the expectation of receiving anything back (now of course, you don't want to be with a person who is completely selfish either- You don't want to be the only one giving in the relationship) Relationships are two way streets.

*No time or too much time- Make time for each other but also allow each of you your own personal space. Create dreams and goals together but allow each other to also pursue their dreams and goals (as we all don't have the same desires)

Agree to disagree. Love with your complete heart

Learn to love yourself first. It's easy to completely love someone else if you love yourself first

For more in depth relationship guidance, Visit my website www.winningatlove.com

Are you just stressed thinking about how to make your relationship better and you are mentally burned out? Well, bookmark this blog to come back to and just check out my funny facebook status blog for a good laugh
Here is the link
http://mostfunnyfacebookstatus.blogspot.com/

A day without laughter is a day wasted :-)