Sunday, January 15, 2012

What is a good relationship?

Have you ever looked at your relationships and wondered what was missing? You can never seem to find that someone special or that special bond that you see some of your friends sharing with their spouse or significant other. Have you ever asked yourself "What is wrong with me" or "Why can't I find that"?

What makes a relationship really work? It's easy to fall in love but how do you stay in love?

A good relationship (a healthy relationship) has been proven to boost happiness, reduce depression and provide a more financially stable background.

It has been proven that people are not really in touch with their relationships. Too many people wait until it is too late to save the relationship before they start to try. Getting rid of your partner (if your partner is an overall good person) does not solve the problem. Especially when you may not even realize that half the problem lies within yourself. It takes two to make a relationship work and there is no such thing as a perfect person. When you look at your partner, you can't just see the bad qualities in that person, you need to remember all the good qualities that made you fall in love in the first place. So many relationships fail because two people simply forget how to understand each other.

Lack of understanding and communication causes unresolved anger. Males and females are naturally made up of different components. We have different weaknesses and different strengths. Just think, if we were the complete same as our partner, how boring would that be? No matter how different we are though, we all have the same deep down inner needs, the need for desire, intimacy and love. We all long for that closeness. Stop what you think is the "fair" thing to do and start doing what is going to make your relationship really work.

Alot of relationships that fail could have actually been saved. No matter how long you have been together, you can learn how to make your relationship work.

My husband and I were together for 6 years before we got married. Within 4 months of marriage, I thought we were heading for divorce. The arguing got so bad that he totally withdrew from me. One morning, I woke up and realized that I didn't want to live without my husband. I sat down and wrote a list of things that I (not him but me) was doing wrong. Yes, those words taste like vinegar when I say alot of the issues were stemming from me (not all but alot). When I made a few changes both emotionally and physically, it was amazing how my relationship turned around. Today, my marriage is very strong. We are what we were 8 years ago, BEST FRIENDS!!

Here is a pic taken of me and my husband on New Years Eve (Dec 31, 2011) I love my husband and it took alot of work to get where we are today (after 8 years of being together) If you look at my husband's hand on my arm, he has that protective nature of me. He doesn't even realize it. I showed him this picture and when I told him how much the picture touched me, he was like "huh"?? LOL Moral of the story: Men aren't always so bright so just need a little guidance. My husband does have such a protective, caring way with me and he doesn't even realize it. He's always looking out for me. He cherishes me and everything I do (as well as I do him) and that is so important. Just learn to cherish each other. He's my very best friend in the world. We have learned to appreciate each other's strengths and accept each other's faults.

Relationship Failure - What causes it? There are so many traits that cause relationship failure.

Tip to a truly happy, healthy relationship Click Here!

Do you ever find yourself feeling so envious of that friend of yours that seems to have the perfect life (I think we all have that friend :-) They have a great relationship with their partner (they are like best friends with each other), a great house, good kids, good job and so on. You look at them and think "What is wrong with me" Why don't I have that? I am just as good as them, so Why can't I find that happiness?

You search so hard for that perfection and the perfect person (which none of us are perfect so you will never find that) Even that perfect friend has their flaws. Unfortunately, that search for perfection either keeps us single or keeps us in an unhealthy relationship that is destined for relationship failure.

Why does this happen? Simple truth is your are simply avoiding facing reality. We never want to admit that we once again made a bad relationship choice and that is absolutely normal. Nobody likes to admit failure of any kind. Nobody is perfect. We all make mistakes so you need to ask yourself this question- How do I avoid making that same relationship failure mistake again and again?

Fact is relationship failure is one of the biggest causes of unhappiness and stress in life and learning to have a successful relationship is one of the most important skills we can learn. Is it easy to learn? Not necessarily. With learning, there needs to be change. Alot of us don't like change but change can be a great thing and can be the key to alot of happiness.

The most common reasons why relationships fail are as follows (aside from finances and stress of raising children):

* Jealousy and Possessiveness- Everybody needs their own personal space. Every relationship needs trust- Without trust, you will almost surely have relationship failure. Once trust is broken, it is very hard- damn near impossible- to get back.

* Selfishness- Don't always put your own needs first. Try to always put yourself in your partner's shoes. Always try to look at situations from both sides (yours and his) and give yourself some constructive criticism. Remember, true love should be a selfless act- given without the expectation of receiving anything back (now of course, you don't want to be with a person who is completely selfish either- You don't want to be the only one giving in the relationship) Relationships are two way streets.

*No time or too much time- Make time for each other but also allow each of you your own personal space. Create dreams and goals together but allow each other to also pursue their dreams and goals (as we all don't have the same desires)

Agree to disagree. Love with your complete heart

Learn to love yourself first. It's easy to completely love someone else if you love yourself first

For more in depth relationship guidance, Visit my website

Are you just stressed thinking about how to make your relationship better and you are mentally burned out? Well, bookmark this blog to come back to and just check out my funny facebook status blog for a good laugh
Here is the link

A day without laughter is a day wasted :-)

1 comment:

  1. Just a little relationship laughter

    Marriage or Relationship

    If you want someone who will eat whatever you put in front of him and never say it's not quite as good as his mother's

    then adopt a dog.

    If you want someone always willing to go out, at any hour,
    for as long and wherever you want ...

    then adopt a dog.

    If you want someone who will never touch the remote, doesn't care
    about football, and can sit next to you as you watch romantic movies

    ..then adopt a dog.

    If you want someone who is content to get on your bed just to
    warm your feet and whom you can push off if he snores

    ..then adopt a dog !

    If you want someone who never criticizes what you do, doesn't care if you are pretty or ugly, fat or thin, young or old, who acts as if every word you say is especially worthy of listening to, and loves
    you unconditionally, perpetually ..

    ..then adopt a dog.

    BUT, on the other hand, if you want someone who will never come when you call, ignores you totally when you come home, leaves hair all over the place, walks all over you, runs around all night and only comes home to eat and sleep, and acts as if your entire existence is solely to ensure his happiness...

    ..then adopt a cat!

    You thought I was gonna say... marry a man, didn't you?

    Just a little figuring out men giggle for today :-) Laughter is good for your soul and your relationship