Sunday, January 15, 2012

Fighting fair in relationships

Fighting fair in relationships- Why is it absolutely essential to a strong relationship? Every relationship has conflict. If you don't fight fair though, there will never be true romantic love. Why? because one of you if not both will consistently harbor resentment towards the other. I read an awesome quote last week "It takes two to speak the truth. One to speak and the other to hear" That is very true.

When two people fight, there's naturally going to be a reaction in one or both people. That reaction is usually anger or rage. The way we handle these reactions determines whether or not our love will grow or whether it will die. Men need to learn a way to listen without making their partner's feelings seem unimportant. Women need to learn a way to approach their partners without criticism and nagging. Women tend to become alot more emotional than men when conflict arises. Men will tend to become distant whereas women tend to nag on the issue because they need to show their emotions. Women also tend to be more insecure than men.

Some tips for fair fighting in a relationship

Don't blame - Make suggestions instead. Also before discussing, try role reversal. Put yourself in your partner's shoes for a moment and try to picture the conflict from their point of view.

Deal with one issue at a time. Don't bring up multiple issues at once. That is mental overload on both of you. DON'T continuously bring up past issues into current issues.

Men shouldn't run away during a fight. If you feel you need a time out- ask for one. Reassure your partner that you want to continue to talk about but you just need to take a mental time out. Women shouldn't follow your partner if they need that time out. Give a little space.

Only one person should talk at a time. If you need to set a timer, do so. I know that might sound a bit crazy but make it that each person gets 2 minutes at a time. Don't speak while your partner is speaking. LISTEN!!! Ask them to do the same while you are speaking. Again, always try to see the fight from your partner's view as well as your own.

Fair fighting in a relationship is a committment to your relationship, a committment to each other. It helps to understand each other and each other's needs.

The goal in fair fighting in a relationship is to get the anger out, get the hurt out, get those feelings validated without alienating your partner.

Remember, you love each other for a reason. You chose to be together for a reason. Take responsibility for your faults as well. Remember, if you are the wrong one, Say I AM SORRY. Don't let pride get in the way. Don't always expect to resolve issues all at once. No matter what the experts say, it is OK to go to bed mad sometimes. All issues can't be resolved right away

If you enjoyed reading this post, check out the post on what a good relationship is. Here is the link

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