Thursday, May 31, 2012

Foot massage technique- Does foot massage enhance your relationship

Foot massage technique- Does foot massage enhance your relationship?

Playing with and massaging a person's feet is a sign of warmth and respect for your partner's body and feelings. It is an ice breaker when you just don't feel in the mood for intimacy and a way to relax.

These little things make a HUGE difference in a relationship.

Here's an article that I found which I enjoyed so I just thought I would share.

45 Tips for a Happy Marriage

Author: Mush Panjwani

We just celebrated our 24th marriage anniversary and it’s been over 25 years since we started seeing each other. We consider ourselves very fortunate to enjoy a great relationship and still be in love. Considering that we are so different from each other in so many ways and that we rarely agree on anything, we often wonder what has kept us so happy together. It’s a few things.

We realize and accept the fact that everyone is different; everyone has his or her strengths and weaknesses. We don’t try to change the other. We choose to focus on the strengths and accept the weaknesses – unless one needs help and encouragement in overcoming a certain weakness. We have come to understand that being in love is not enough for a happy marriage. Happy partners choose to be happy, and they do certain things in a certain way. We have been following a certain unwritten code of conduct about how we treat each other and how we deal with our differences.

Communication is the key. Like in any other relationship, good communication is the key to a happy marriage. You don’t need a degree in communications; it’s mostly common sense. It’s Ok to argue, but you must follow certain rules. Few tips to enhance communication with your partner:

  1. Be honest.couple3
  2. Talk to each other often.
  3. Listen when the other is talking.
  4. Express any concerns quickly.
  5. Compliment often; criticize rarely.
  6. Never criticize in public.
  7. Never yell at each other.
  8. Never bring up mistakes of the past.
  9. Never use the word ‘always’ and ‘never’ in arguments.
  10. Don’t go to bed with an unsettled argument.
  11. Say ‘I love you’ often… and mean it.
  12. Be quick to say ‘I am sorry’.
  13. Forgive and forget quickly.
  14. Never keep secrets from each other.
  15. Keep the in-laws out of your marriage.

What happened to the romance? Remember the first time you started seeing each other? You used to dress up, make-up, put on your best self, hold hands, and do things to please your partner. Why does it have to be any different after few years? Keeping the romance alive is an essential part of being happy with your partner. Some tips for the un-romantics:

  1. ?909 love youHold hands.
  2. Hug and kiss every day – few times a day, actually.
  3. Give flowers or gifts or love-you cards without any occasion.
  4. Remember birthdays and anniversaries. Plan surprises.
  5. Share whatever chores you can – cooking, dishes, laundry, bills.
  6. Go on dates.
  7. Watch romantic movies together.
  8. Walk on the beach when it’s a full moon.
  9. Watch sunrise or sunset together.
  10. Learn what turns your partner on or off.
  11. Don’t make a chore out of sex. Experiment; be creative.
  12. Make his or her favorite breakfast.
  13. Dress up, or make-up, just for him or her.
  14. SMS your love when you are away.
  15. Don’t compare and praise other men or women.

Small things make the big difference. Many of them have been covered in the above lists. Here are some more:

  1. ?909 foot rubTalk about your dreams, goals and ambitions.
  2. Give foot massages and back rubs when your partner is tired.
  3. Call during the day.
  4. Switch off your iPhone or Blackberry while on a date together.
  5. Do it his or her way, once in a while.
  6. Beware of bad breath and body odor.
  7. Respond quickly to your partner’s requests.
  8. Pray for each other daily… from the heart.
  9. Don’t start sharing your problems as soon as your partner shows up after work
  10. Keep his or her photo in your wallet, or as the wallpaper of your phone.
  11. Go for walks together.
  12. Accept their ‘annoying’ habits. Do not nag
  13. Don’t offer an advice unless asked for.
  14. Cuddle.
  15. Be prepared to sacrifice your interests and preferences for the sake of your partner.

Very importantly, we must learn to be happy as individuals before we can be happy together. Please tell us which ones are your favorite, and share your own tips too.

Read other articles by Mush on happiness, health, relationships and motivation at Enhancing Life.

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About the Author

Mush Panjwani is a salesman, marketer, publisher, trainer, coach and motivational speaker, living and working in Hong Kong. Visit his blog: MushPanjwani dot com

3 Tips for Giving Great Foot Massages

Author: Lance Compton

Nothing makes you feel relaxed faster then a nice, stress-reducing foot massage. Learning the correct methods to give one can certainly be a great gift for a friend or dearly loved one. The best news is that it is really quite simple to give a great one because foot massage techniques are not that difficult to learn.

Before beginning have the person wash their feet. It is also wise to make sure both of your hands are clean. Look at both the left and the right foot for any potential health problems like sores or fungal infections like athlete's foot. If some of these issues are present you should not give the massage.

Do the following strategies, and the person you massage will be in your debt forever. The best foot massage position is to have the individual lay down on their back or recline in a chair with the feet elevated on a stool or cushion.

Gather What You will need

Sure, a foot massage can invariably be an unplanned gesture. However, if you'd like to make the massage especially satisfying, there are some foot massage supplies you should gather before hand. Things like a basin of warm water (not too hot), comfortable socks or slippers, Epsom salt, essential oils, massages oil or lotion, towels, relaxing music and scented candles.

Prepare the Feet

First of all, be sure the feet are clean. Prepare a basin of warm water and soak the feet around 5 to 15 minutes, drying the feet appropriately. By properly preparing the feet before you begin the massage, it can help ensure that the massage is relaxing in your case as well as the recipient.

Start the Massage

At this point the feet are clean you're all set to start the foot massage. Let the person sit or lie in a very comfortable situation. Lay a towel under your work place to catch any oil or lotion that drips. Be sure both hands are warm before commencing the massage. Cold hands can ruin a massage, so warm them up by rubbing your hands together. Begin by massaging the cream tenderly onto the entire foot, top and bottom. Then do whatever foot massage techniques that come to mind, you really can't go wrong.

How long you massage the feet really depends on how much time you have and how long your hands can last for. Don't try to press too hard with your hands because this will tire them out quickly, leading to a short massage.

Finish Up

If the person will be putting on socks and shoes afterwards its best to wipe off any excess lotion or oils that you have used. Now is also the time to ask what the person liked best about the massage so you can improve your foot kneading technique for the future.

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Visit our website to learn about the ShoulderFlex massager and about swedish massage techniques


How to get a guy to notice you

Did You Know:
When someone looks at a new love, the neural circuits that are usually associated with social judgment are suppressed.
Source: by Helen Fisher

Featured Topic: Make Him Notice You

Most women would love to be noticed in a crowded room and have a man be instantly smitten. However, to accomplish this goal, women often focus on the wrong things. Perfect hair, perfect body, perfect smile, perfect... are you noticing a theme?But when I (or someone else) suggests to a woman that there is more to attracting and keeping a man than simply being perfect, they smile and say, "I know, I know."

But they don't believe me because of their bad experiences. In the past, some man has told them that if they weren't so __________(overweight, talkative, controlling, needy, etc.), the relationship wouldn’t be ending. And so they decide that the problem is - that the way they are - isn't enough. What I mean by “enough” is that they believe that they are not pretty enough, skinny enough, confident enough and so forth.It's not true, you know.

How to get a guy to notice you
Being perfect will certainly get you more invitations and more men turning their heads to look at you, but that wasn't the quality that Mr. Ziering noticed in his wife. You see, it wasn’t what she wore or the particular style of her hair. It was what came from within that made her outfit and her hairstyle so radiant. In fact, he noticed it so strongly that he married this woman 9 months after they met.

I'm also sure that you've probably experienced this yourself at least once in your life. Those times when it seemed every guy was interested in you. Or if you're in a relationship, can you remember when your man couldn't seem to get enough of you? Wouldn't you like to have that effect most of the time? You can, but here is the catch. This trait isn't always easy to develop.

It takes some practice.

It doesn’t take forever; yet, it isn't something you can develop in a day. In fact, those women that struggle to obtain this magic usually have one thing in common. They're impatient. They want it now. When it doesn't work with every guy - they say, "This stuff doesn't work."

Then they continue to wonder why the relationship they've always dreamed of never seems to show up in their lives.I want to tell you that it can happen. But if you'd like things to be different, then you'll have to do different things. Simply keeping the same habits and beliefs won't change your circumstances.

Additionally, keeping old habits absolutely won't cause men to look at you the way Ian Ziering looked at his future wife. But if you want that kind of power, and I mean really want it, then it's yours for the taking.

Let me show the magical effect you can have on men when you learn how to put your heart first. I'll even give you a tip right now that will cause men to look at you differently - if you agree to try it for at least 3 weeks.

Treat every guy the same.

Be nice to the ugly guy and the overweight one. Listen to the one who you think is boring and bald. Oh I know, he might just ask you out, but that is a problem you want to have. You see there is no magic formula for only attracting the man you want. There is only the magic that attracts all men.

Those you want and those you don't. You'll end up turning down most of these invitations but something inside of you will begin to change. Practice treating all men the same, and I promise that the man/men you like will notice that you seem to have an effortless beauty that makes you stand out in a crowded room, even if you're just wearing flip flops with your hair in a ponytail.

For more ways on how to get a guy to nice you
Check out my website

Here is the link back to the main page

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Emotionally safe in a relationship

Emotionally safe in a relationship

Creating Emotionally Safe Relationships

Author: Relationship Builder

1. Safe relationships involve suspending judgment –I can't begin to recount the times I've jumped to conclusions regarding my judgment of someone's motives.Even though "what" someone has done is clear, "why" they did it is rarely as obvious. It takes time and patience to discover what is in someone's heart and what motive was behind their behavior.

2. Safe relationships involve celebrating differences - The difference between you and others is a reason for celebration. The beauty of the distinction between you, your friends, your mate and your family members can be likened to the genius of the different parts of the human body having unique functions, yet contributing to the health of the whole body.

3. Safe relationships involve honoring others – We demonstrate honor to others by respecting their perspective and opinions. When we allow others to express their views and feelings, we are communication the fact that they have value. In the Bible we read, "Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves." [Romans 12:10]

4. Safe relationships involve being trustworthy – Tom Peters, businessman and author says," Technique and technology are important, but adding trust is the issue of the decade." Mahatma Gandhi said, "The moment there is suspicion about a person's motives, everything he does becomes tainted."

Trust is a function of both character and competence. Consequently, strive to follow through with your promises – both in word and performance.

5. Safe relationships involve respecting boundaries – Often when people feel threatened or insecure they will erect an emotional wall of protection. Resist the temptation to knock down the wall and force yourself through their boundaries. Instead through patience and understanding, create a climate where the other person feels safe enough to begin to lower the wall of protection on their own and in their own time.

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About the Author

Michael Fehlauer has been married to Bonnie over 30 years. They have experienced both the height of success and the devastation of failure. As a result, Michael Fehlauer and Bonnie Fehlauer have a strong desire to see the same healing they have experienced happen in the lives of others. Michael Fehlauer and Bonnie Fehlauer have traveled extensively throughout the world holding marriage and family conferences.

Relationship Advice: What Is Needed For Deeper Emotional Intimacy

Author: Richard Nicastro, Ph.D.

"I'm tired of feeling alone in my marriage." ~Christian, married three years

Often times, when couples complain about a break down in communication or some other marital/relationship problem, part of their distress centers around feeling emotionally disconnected from each other. This lack of emotional intimacy is often a warning sign that something needs to be addressed in your relationship.

Feeling emotionally safe and close to your spouse/partner is one of the hallmarks of a healthy marriage/relationship. Think of emotional intimacy (a sense of togetherness, of having a strong emotional bond) as the glue that holds your relationship together, through the good times and the stressful times. Couples are more likely to weather the challenges of life (as well as the challenges that come with being in a relationship) when they feel emotionally engaged and connected to one another.

But emotional intimacy doesn't just happen—it requires certain conditions in order to germinate and grow. Understanding these conditions and understanding what makes you feel connected to your partner, will go a long way toward creating the right conditions and toward keeping your relationship healthy.

7 Conditions for Emotional Intimacy

Here is a brief listing of what you might need and expect from your spouse/partner in order to feel emotionally close:

~Attentiveness (the willingness to be attentive to one another);

~Consistency (knowing that your partner will be there for you day after day);

~Empathy (a willingness to try to understand who you are and your perspective);

~Kindness (nothing invites us to share ourselves more than a compassionate, loving partner);

~Patience (knowing that you partner is flexible and doesn't expect perfection from you);

~Respect (the assurance that you will never intentionally belittle or shame one another);

~Responsiveness (feeling that your partner will respond and act appropriately to your needs);

~Truthfulness/Honestly (if you feel your partner is being deceptive in some way, emotional safety and intimacy will never be realized).

As you read this list, do these feel familiar to you? Are they part of your marriage/relationship?

But your spouse/partner isn't the only person responsible for working on deepening emotional intimacy. In fact, s/he can do all of the above (and even more), and emotional closeness can still be lacking in your marriage/relationship.

How can this be?

The Conscious Decision to Be Open to Intimacy

"All relationships involve the risk of connection." ~Peter, discussing his decision to remarry after being divorced for four years.

At some point, couples take the risk to open themselves up to the gifts of emotional intimacy—without this openness, an internal door will remain closed and a nagging disconnection will persist. While the conditions listed above might make you more likely to open yourself up to intimacy, ultimately, you have to make the conscious decision to do so. Like the quote above, you have to risk connection again.

The relationship you have with yourself (how you think and feel about yourself, your willingness to trust) has a dramatic impact on the level of emotional intimacy you can form with your spouse/partner.

Here are a couple of issues to be mindful of:

~Self-acceptance (are you compassionate to yourself and able to suspend self-judgment and criticalness?);

~Feeling worthy of intimacy and love (without a sense of feeling worthy of receiving love, a part of you will always remain shut off to the gifts of intimacy);

~Self-understanding and clarity of your needs (if you don't connect with and communicate your emotional needs, how will your partner know what you need or how to meet your needs?).

So if you feel that emotional intimacy and closeness is missing in your marriage/relationship, go through the above lists to see what might be needed to create the optimal conditions for intimacy. And remember, intimacy is not only about your partner: the ability to be open and self-accepting is the crucial second-half of the intimacy equation.

Rich Nicastro, Ph.D. is a psychologist and relationship blogger with extensive experience working with couples on how to deepen intimacy. Click Relationship Help to read Dr. Nicastro's latest blog posts and to access his free bonus reports.

And to discover a wide range of communication and relationship tools, don't forget to check out his special Marriage Enrichment workbook offer!

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About the Author

Rich Nicastro, Ph.D. is a psychologist who has been helping couples for over fifteen years. To receive the Relationship Help Newsletter and two free reports on how to strengthen your relationship, visit Rich's website at

Sunday, May 6, 2012

Getting over a breakup

Getting over a breakup

Is Your Breakup Making You Feel Kinda Funky?

Author: Tigress Luv, The Breakup Guru

Breakups have a way of making us feel like we're losing our minds. We have anxiety attacks at the drop of a hat, panic attacks at the thought of one more tomorrow without them. We question our lives, our love, and our sanity. And most of all we feel the Earth spinning around us in real time!

But there are a few things you can do to ease this transitional anxiety that millions of others have felt, are feeling, or will feel in the future.

ONE: Get rid of ALL caffeine in your life. Buy caffeine free cola, decaffeinated coffee, etc. You would be surprised to learn just how many anxiety/panic attacks can be linked to caffeine use. If you try it (just for two days even) you will be absolutely amazed at the noticeable change in your attitude, outlook, and 'nerves'.

TWO: Rearrange, or redecorate, your bedroom. Get some new sheets, blankets, comforters, and curtains. Paint the walls, and maybe even change the carpet. Rearrange all the furniture and get rid of anything (pictures, etc) that reminds you of your ex. Hang new pictures; get fresh flowers - whatever you want to make it your own personal sanctuary!

THREE: Set new goals and new routines! Get yourself a new morning ritual. Something that will pop into your head first thing upon waking - and last thing before sleep. Such as an exercise routine, morning walk, new breakfast recipe, calling your mother, walking the dog, breathing exercises, yoga or meditation, etc. Even a 'goal for the day'. A goal for the day is a list of new goals for each day of the week. Such as... Monday, clean out hall closet... ...Tuesday, make someone happy... ...Wednesday, write a letter to Uncle Fred... ...Thursday, visit the children's hospital... ...Friday, write a short story... ...Saturday, start golf lessons... ...Sunday, wash the car...

Plan out (in your head) your next day's goal when you lay down at night - this helps get a more peaceful sleep and helps you to get to sleep faster. Then, when you wake up in the morning it should be the FIRST and FOREMOST thing that pops into your head.

All in all, there is no magic day for getting over a breakup - we just want to believe it is. A magic day is when you wake up one morning and realize you haven't thought about your ex in THREE WHOLE DAYS

~By Tigress Luv, the Breakup Guru

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About the Author

For more information about getting over the pain of breakup, please read How to Get Over a Breakup, by Tigress Luv, the Breakup Guru. For help with winning an ex back, stopping a breakup, getting over a broken heart, or any other relationship issue, please visit Tigress Luv and The Lifted Hearts Community at

How To Pick Yourself Up And Make A Fresh Start After A Bitter Breakup


Whether it was your fault or not, a relationship breakup doesn't have to break up your life. I know it is a painful experience, especially when you invest so much emotion, time and effort into the relationship. I understand the pain because I've been through it quite a few times, and each time it hurt just as much if not more. Sometimes it is hard to recover from the hurt, the disappointment and the thought of living your life without that partner. Nonetheless, I recovered each time and made a fresh start so I know you can do the same. So you can cry about it if it makes you feel better, and skip a few meals if you can't help it, but don't allow yourself to be stuck in that condition of self-pity and depression. Stop blaming yourself or your ex-partner. Don't waste time over silly egoistic regrets. Shake off your disappointments, put that chapter of your life behind you and consider it a lesson well-learned. It now belongs to your past, and as you know you can't change your past. Pick yourself up and move on with hope, and try again. Because it is only when you try again that you can find a truly happy and stable relationship (like the one I have today).

How do you recover from all this pain and heartbreak?

  1. 1. Try to see the breakup in a positive light.

This may seem like a crazy idea especially in the first few days of the breakup when the pain is so fresh and you feel so depressed. It is difficult to see anything positive about living the rest of your life with someone you could have sworn was your soul-mate. When you think of all the fun you had together, and how all your friends and family who knew about your relationship will judge the breakup, it probably makes more sense to you to just concentrate on the pain instead of trying to see anything positive about the breakup. But think of it this way, you wouldn't have broken up if you were soul-mates. And I also expect that true family members and friends will rather be supportive of you than try to judge you or tease you about your breakup. So it is ok to breakup sometimes. Maybe it wasn't meant to be. Maybe God is preparing for you someone better suited to your needs: someone who will give you real butterflies in your stomach. Remember and take consolation in the saying that sometimes "Rejection is God's protection". You never know what worst could have happened if it hadn't ended this way. No matter how good your ex was, he or she wasn't perfect. So think of all the bad things they did to make you cry. They were probably not worth your love anyway. A better partner is on the way. Your star will shine brighter if you wait patiently for it.

Have a positive mind. Consider yourself better off now without your ex. You can now do all the good things you wanted to do for yourself, which you ex didn't allow you to either because they were just being controlling, wanted you to postpone it, or just didn't like it. You can now enroll in that academic program this year. You can now easily buy that expensive dress your ex didn't want you to buy without any interference. You can now hung out with your friends for longer hours, stay late at the mall or movies, talk on the phone with anyone you want for any length of time, etc. without anyone cursing at you or fighting with you. Those kinds of clothing your ex didn't want you to wear are now yours to wear. Enjoy your newly-found freedom and take control of your life.

  1. 2. Stay close to people you love and people who love and care about you

These could be your relatives or very good friends who have a genuine interest in your well-being. These people if well related to can be very supportive, and can help you fill the void of companionship your ex may have left in your life. This helps keep your mind off your ex and thus reduces the pain of the breakup.

Avoid being alone for prolonged periods because it keeps you fretting over your ex and your failed relationship and translates into a feeling of loneliness, failure, and disappointment. Being around people you like keeps you energized, and inspired.

  1. 3. Stay in shape, stay active and participate in fun activities you love

Just because you broke up with your partner doesn't mean you should now wear baggy clothing, eat yourself into fatness, and stop going to the gym. No! It is now time to even look sexier. Don't allow people to think you are now a miserable wretch because you lost your partner, as if your whole life depended on him or her. Engage in activities you love and enjoy. Go to the gym and get a good dose of exercise every day. Find creative ways of entertaining yourself. These keep your mind occupied and less likely to grieve over your breakup. Because grieving over your breakup will only keep you stressed and depressed. Worst still, as you continually waste time crying and mourning over "spilt milk", your blood pressure rises making you susceptible to hypertension and other heart diseases. So why lose your life over a lost partner? Forget about him or her and move on into something more productive.

Exercise also keeps you mind active, and helps you stay in shape so you can be noticed by other eligible partners. Eat healthy meals and dress elegantly to boost your image and confidence.

  1. 4. Pursue your life goals and dreams like never before

This is the time to challenge yourself that you can achieve anything or any goal without your ex's support. Empower yourself with this belief and pursue your dreams and work hard like you are trying to prove to your ex and all your skeptics that you can do it on your own. Let them see you succeed and wish they had kept you. Let this mindset challenge you to be your best. And when you are preoccupied with being your best, you wouldn't even have time to think about the breakup.

  1. 5. Free your mind and hold nothing against your ex

Free your mind and harbor no ill feelings against your ex as that will only keep anger lingering in your heart, and thus poison everything you think and do. Holding resentments against your ex and the breakup could also affect your ability to stay open to new relationships and enjoy life to its fullest. Approach the breakup with a positive attitude. Even if you think you were treated unfairly, try to forgive and move on. Choose ease (or peace of mind) over anxiety. Relax and have a clear mind so that you will know the right action to take. If you like, you can remain a friend to your ex, but if you can't, then you should just avoid him or her entirely without harboring any ill feelings against them.

  1. 6. Move on and stay open to new relationships

Finally, move on and stay open to new relationships. Just because you have been choked by food before doesn't mean you shouldn't eat again. It should only serve as a lesson as to what to eat, how and how not to eat next time. It is the same with relationships and breakups. Just because you tried it once and it didn't work doesn't mean it will never work. Don't let the fear of another breakup stop you from starting a new relationship. Just as all fingers are not the same, all men or women are not the same. So purge your mind of the "they-are-all-the-same" mentality and move on with hope. Stay open to new relationships and make a fresh start after a reasonable period of recovery.

Don't jump right into another relationship unless you're really sure about what you're doing because your judgment may be clouded by your depressed emotional state. During your time of loneliness after a breakup, a lot of people will come along with adequate attention and care. Most of these people will try to take advantage of your situation to rush you into another relationship only to hurt you again. So you have to be careful. Get over your pain first. Analyze yourself and your needs. Don't just give in to anyone who comes along; that shows you're desperate. And people like to take advantage of desperate people. So rationalize in choosing your next partner. Utilize the lessons you learned from your previous relationship, and do your part to make your new relationship work.

But even if it doesn't work, you should understand that finding the right partner is like digging for gold. Sometimes in order to find the right partner, you have to encounter and overcome a lot of challenges, disappointments and obstacles similar to the rocks, stones, clay and sand that have to be encountered and eliminated in order to get to the gold underneath. Only those who don't give up to these obstacles can bring home the gold. So don't give up; Go for the gold!

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About the Author

Vincent Boateng is a peer counselor and relationship expert

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Common relationship issues

Common relationship issues

While it is true that every relationship is unique from one another, they can be similar with one another in terms of issues or problems. They may come in different forms but they are actually the same in general. The only difference lies on how a couple reacts to a certain situation. We may not understand why we have to face problems while we are in a relationship but they actually serve as tests. No relationship is said to be strong without passing the tests or overcoming the challenges. So what are the typical issues in a relationship? Let us talk about some common relationship issues and let's see how we can address each. Take a look at the following list of issues.

• Incompatibility. We often hear couples breaking up because of irreconcilable differences. This is due to the fact that there are people who are not willing to sacrifice their beliefs, practices, and dreams for their partner. If lovers have not learned the art of compromising, there will be no hope in the relationship. Your relationship will not be successful if this is the case. While it's true that everyone is unique and you are different from your partner, you have to learn how to meet halfway.

• Communication. Another common issue is the line of communication. When you know pretty well that it is important, you will refrain from keeping secrets from your partner. You need to keep the lines open which means you have to express your thoughts and emotions to your partner. Learn how to share your life with your partner. Do not be afraid to show how you really feel. Do not be afraid to reveal your true feelings even if you think you will not be understood. Just try your partner. Try sharing and expressing. Lay down your burdens and allow your partner to carry some. That's what you should do.

• Religion. One of the common issues of relationships is religion. When lovers have conflicting religious beliefs and practices, there will be chaos in the relationship. Having different beliefs will only lead to numerous arguments. Imagine how peaceful it would be if both of you have the same set of beliefs.

• Trust issues. It's pretty normal to be doubtful sometimes. However, there are times when too much doubt can get to your head that it starts to consume your relationship. You tend to be overly suspicious. You tend to put malice to things even without concrete basis. Your trust issues start to eat you up and this would cause trouble or conflict between the two of you.

• Acceptance. At times, you experience difficulty in dealing with your partner's personality traits and even his/ her beliefs. This is especially true when you came from different cultures. It is really difficult to reconcile your differences.

• Money. It's actually sad that this is also one of the common relationship issues, particularly in marriage. It is also true with cohabitating couples. Money matters can even cause a marriage breakdown when they get worse.

• Responsibilities. As partners, you have your own duties and responsibilities to perform. You have to work hand in hand to make your relationship work. You both need to exert effort to nurse the relationship.

These common relationship issues can really cause a relationship breakdown if they are not well-taken care of. If you experience any of the abovementioned issues, better do something before it's too late. Don't just sit and watch your relationship fall. Talk with your partner and discuss what you have to discuss. Practice the art of compromising if you really want to keep each other and you care for the relationship. Do something and try your very best to find solutions.

You might also like to read about handling stress in a relationship and marital issues with in-laws.

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A Few Common Relationship Issues And How To Solve Them

Author: Benny

There are many different kinds of relationship issues that couples experience throughout the duration of their relationship. There are many reasons for these issues, be it past experiences or certain misgivings that have happened between the two people in the relationship, but it is of utmost importance that couples work together to try and get through these issues. Too many times people break up because they are not able to address their problems properly and end up letting the relationship issues get the better of them and end the relationship all together. Here are a few common issues and how you can address them:

Trust issues

This is probably one of the most common types of issue in relationships. This causes a lot of different issues to arise as well, such as jealousy and doubt. So many times either the man or the woman in the relationship gets mad at even the smallest things, like a man looking at another woman or the woman being close friends with another man. These kinds of relationship issues most commonly occur because of a bad experience in the past. Sometimes, these trust issues form because one person in the relationship was cheated on in a past relationship, or they come from a family where one parent was unfaithful.

One way that you can address this issue is to be completely honest with each other. if you are the one that is dealing with a partner with trust issues, what you can do is to make sure that you let them know that you are to be trusted. This is not done through words, but through actions. Rather than telling them that they can trust you, show them. Take the extra effort to let them know that you are open about your life and whom you are with, and that you have no secrets from them.


These kinds of relationship issues are very destructive, and they are even more dangerous than outright jealousy and the like, because when a couple avoids issues altogether, they never get to solve it. this usually happens when one or both parties are not good with handling conflict. This kind of issue must be addressed before a certain problem that you are avoiding talking about starts to eat at the relationship from the inside. It is avoidance that usually causes abrupt divorces and annulments, simply because the problems were never given the chance to be solved. Make it a point to open communication lines and talk about all problems openly. This may be hard at first, but this kind of communication is much healthier in the long run.


Sadly, money has broken so many families in the past. Issues of money are certainly a lot more delicate, as there are so many factors that are both emotional and legal that must be considered. Make sure to always be honest about your financial status to your partner. Being open about this and even sharing your financial situations with each other, will make you feel more like partners than enemies, thus avoiding relationship issues that are because of money.

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About the Author

Benny is an expert in home improvement issues. You can check out his website on Kids Ceiling Fans which has information and reviews to find the best Kids Ceiling Fans for your home.

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Characteristics men love in women

Characteristics men love in women

Two Kinds Of Women - Women Men Love And Women Men Leave

Author: Hendrika Van Aardt

There are two kinds of women. There are women men love and women men leave. Now the question is which one you are. Well, which ever one you are, there is hope for you. There are ways you can adjust your life and behavior to become a woman men love and not a woman men leave.

If you want to become a woman your man will love and not leave the first think you have to do is find out what he needs from you. Once you know this you can make sure you meet his needs. If your man gets what he needs from the relationship, he is far less likely to take off. You will be surprised how often this simple principle is ignored. I think it is because many women think meeting their man's needs mean they have to be completely subservient and of course she does not want to do this.

Luckily, this is totally wrong. No man with a healthy self-esteem wants to use a woman as a doormat. If he wants that, there is something wrong and you should not be in a relationship with him then, in any case. If a man is secure in himself, he will want a woman with a mind of her own, but he also wants her to be his best friend and his biggest fan!

Do not make the mistake to think that if you give your man all the sex he needs and if you dress up in sexy lingerie you are meeting his needs! Well, that is also not true. If sex is all a man wants from you, you had better get yourself another man. A man with more depth will need more than that from you. No one denies that sex is an important part of a relationship, but if it is all your relationship is built on, it will fail at some point.

For a long term healthy relationship you have to build it on more than only physical intimacy. When you are young you do not want to believe it, but as you get older sex gets more difficult for many reasons and then there has to be something else in your relationship. So, you must work on the other factors of your relationship a swell. You do not want to be left with nothing to take intimacy's place!

The tragic things is that it is mostly the women who try the hardest to be what their man wants from them, that are the women men ends up leaving. All the love, appreciation he needs has to be real. If he can detect that you do not really admire him and desire him it is no good pretending you are. Any man will bore very quickly from such a woman and leave her once the novelty has worn off. Your man wants a real woman with a character of her own.

The message is that you have a choice. You now know the difference between women men love and women men leave. It is up to you to make the choice. This does not mean you have to give up your own personality it only means you have to be yourself while you try and understand his needs. You decide whether you are a woman men will love or a woman, men will leave.

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About the Author

The good news is with the right information you never have to be the kind of woman men leave. Have a look at The Making Up System and prevent disaster. Know why there are Women Men Love And Women Men Leave and take the right steps.

Men and Intimacy: 5 Myths About Men, Love and Intimacy

Author: Richard Nicastro, Ph.D.

When it comes to love, men often get a bad rap.

"You only hear about the guys who are abusive or cheat, but how about the tons of men who are faithful and kind?" ~John

"I've been married for over twenty years. I know I'm not perfect, but I can honestly say that I do my best to be a good husband…I care about what my wife thinks of me as a husband and father." ~Hale

"It scares me to admit this, but I'd be totally lost without my wife. She's my best friend and she tells me that I'm hers. Making her happy is everything to me..." ~Luis

These are some of the messages several men shared with me while discussing their thoughts about intimacy, their partners and spouses. Before long, a theme arose: What especially bothered these men were the rampant myths about men and love.

Men and Intimacy:

Myth 1: Men do not value emotional connection.

Myth 2: Men do not care about their partners'/spouses' feelings.

Myth 3: Men only want sex (rather than emotional connection).

Myth 4: Men are controlling and tell women what to do (and therefore prefer passive women).

Myth 5: Men would rather spend time with their guy friends than their wives/girlfriends.

Let's take a closer look at the first myth, the one that claims that men do not value emotional closeness. This myth arises out of the difficulty some men have with emotions: in particular, talking about and sharing their feelings. This reality is rooted in the way in which many men are socialized. Emotional self-expression is not considered an important and useful trait for many men.

Of particular importance is the way in which fathers (and other male mentors) act as role-models for their sons. While many fathers are becoming more comfortable with their sons' emotional lives, some fathers continue to hold the expectation that once their male child hits a certain age, this emotionality will give way to stoic control.

Why are feelings difficult for men?

Feelings of vulnerability (tenderness, sadness, fear, feeling "less than," embarrassment and shame) conflict with the ideal of masculinity—central to this ideal is the trait of masculine strength. Men value power and in the arena of love, power and strength equate to being able to take care of your loved ones. As the requirements of relationships change and men are asked to be more emotionally available, the guiding questions for many men are:

How can masculinity and vulnerability exist side by side?

How can I be tender while still seen as strong?

Unfortunately, the mentality that emotional vulnerability equals weakness is alive and well in many cultures and held by too many men. This deep-seated attitude is often triggered in relationships that require and demand greater intimacy. Faced with the challenges of intimacy, men may shut down and withdraw, rather than allow themselves to feel confused and emotionally impotent.

But men still value connection!

Difficulty sharing emotions does not necessarily mean that emotional connection isn't important to men. Think of it this way: You can deeply enjoy music and yet not know how to play an instrument. How men go about creating connection has less to do with emotional sharing and more to do with actions that validate their masculine identity--providing for their loved ones, tangential giving that leads to concrete results.

As Roger recently said:

"My wife didn't like the color of our bedroom and when she was out with her sister, I painted the entire room her favorite color. I couldn't wait to see her reaction. When she got home she gave me this big hug and I felt like a million bucks…"

In other words, Roger felt emotionally connected to his wife. He experienced intimacy through doing for his wife, rather than emotional expression.

The important point to remember is that "myth" does not equate to "fact." No matter how ingrained a preconceived notion might be in a society, we are all free-thinking individuals who can choose to look beneath the surface and appreciate our partners for what they have to offer and the unique way in which they try to offer it...regardless of what prevailing assumptions about gender might tell us.

To discover more relationship tips, visit and sign up for Dr. Nicastro's FREE Relationship Toolbox Newsletter.

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About the Author

Richard Nicastro, Ph.D. is a relationship and intimacy coach with over fifteen years experience helping individuals and couples live more fulfilling lives. Dr. Nicastro's relationship advice has appeared on television, radio and in national magazines.