Monday, January 30, 2012

Communication within a couple is key

Learning the skills of communication within a couple allows both partners to state their case, or talk without interruption or judgement. Being a good communicator is not just about choosing the right words and winning the argument. It is about listening to the other person and responding appropriately. Effective communication allows both partners to express their needs.

When talking with your partner, make eye contact. This is important. It lets them know that you are listening. Don't interrupt them when they are speaking. You will get your turn :-) When you interrupt them constantly, you are basically telling them that what they are saying is not important. Pay attention. Let them know that you are listening and that you care about what they have to say. That doesn't mean you have to agree (but again, you will have your turn to state your opinions). Remember, they need to know that their opinions or ideas are important to. Sometimes, they just need to talk and just need you to listen.

Lack of communication is one of the leading causes of relationship failure. Communication in a relationship is essential (especially when it is an idea or issue that will affect both of you). Communication and consideration can make or break a relationship.

Even partners who communicate can have problems when it comes to discussing intimacy . Great bedroom communication by using verbal and physical skills to help your partner understand what you need.

Good communication skills are the foundation of all relationships and particularly romantic ones. Misunderstandings,crossed signals and hurt feelings abound when communication is lacking or non-existent.

Sunday, January 29, 2012

Intimacy and Romance in a relationship

Everybody has a desire for intimacy. Add some romance and your relationship becomes exciting again. We want the whole package from our relationships (affection, hand-holding, cuddling, sharing, lovemaking and flowers.) Though the image of a couple strolling off into the sunset is a cliche, this is what we long for. Believe it or not, it's achievable. You can build a relationship in which intimacy and passion are still around, years after the first date.

Romance is an attitude and it's extremely important. You don't have to wait for your significant other to turn up with a bunch of flowers in order to enjoy an intimate moment. Romance is not a single event but and ongoing attitude. When sitting in the car reach over and touch his thigh. Leave him a love note on the fridge door. Post a sexy promise on his pillow. Call him at work and tell him you're thinking of him. These small things add up to something much bigger.

Create your own moments
If your man prefers a Saturday night in front of the TV to a candlelit dinner for two at a restaurant, there is still no reason why this moment can't be special. Order in a gourment takeout. Dim the lights, snuggle up on the sofa and enjoy the intimacy. Make sure you don't let the TV stop your from showing him some things and kissing his neck, and seize the opportunity to seduce him during the commercial break.

Reap the benefits of being intimate. The most beautiful part of being in a relationship is knowing that you are not alone. No matter what else happens in the world, you have someone to count on to make you laugh, wipe away your tears and pick you up when you are down. You and your partner can take turns at being the support system. You know you have someone to worry with you and to offer practical help. Take turns caring for each other, no matter what happens

Bringing up the subject of marriage to your partner

Bringing up the marriage subject to your partner can often be stressful and a tad awkward.

What are the statistics and truth of speaking of marriage to your partner?

* Women who discuss marriage know where they stand in a relationship
* If you want to discuss marriage, you are probably going to have to bring the subject up.
* Many women put pressure on their man to get him to propose
* Men who discuss marriage are more likely to propose
* If a woman is convinced that marriage is essential to her happiness, she is more likely to marry
* If a man is convinced that being married is essential to a woman that he loves happiness, he is more likely to ask her to marry him
* Men usually do not get subtle hints (they just don't get it lol). If you want to discuss marriage with your man, you need to be direct and to the point.
* When a man says that he is not ready for marriage, he is speaking in the moment. It usually doesn't mean that he will NEVER marry.
* Men rarely respond positively when challenged
* Women are often their own worst enemies

For more ways to talk to your partner about the subject of marriage, visit my site at

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Making a good first impression on a man

First impressions on men are so important. It's important to smile. Women that smile and are pleasant attract men. Personality is so important. Below are just helpful hints on how to make a good first impression

The essentials to making a good first impression are a friendly facial expression, easy movements, displaying confidence and a pleasant voice. When you say that you are pleased to meet someone, look the part that you are truly pleased to meet them.

Good posture says that you are positive. If you can maintain good posture while looking relaxed and not stiff or dull, men will find you more attractive and likable.

Good first impressions on men involve sending friendly, positive verbal and non-verbal messages.

The first impression made by a woman when she meets a man often determines the nature of the relationship that follows.

The main reason that men are turned off by women when they first meet is the women, usually without even realizing it, announce non-verbally that they do not like the men. Men most often like women who like them.

Men are initially attracted by the physical but marry the character.

All wives are trophy wives, Stive to be someone a man admires and likes to show you off.

Dressing appropriately for the man's lifestyle sends the message, I am wife material. Men marry women they perceive as situational virgins who move easily in their world

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Fighting fair in relationships

Fighting fair in relationships- Why is it absolutely essential to a strong relationship? Every relationship has conflict. If you don't fight fair though, there will never be true romantic love. Why? because one of you if not both will consistently harbor resentment towards the other. I read an awesome quote last week "It takes two to speak the truth. One to speak and the other to hear" That is very true.

When two people fight, there's naturally going to be a reaction in one or both people. That reaction is usually anger or rage. The way we handle these reactions determines whether or not our love will grow or whether it will die. Men need to learn a way to listen without making their partner's feelings seem unimportant. Women need to learn a way to approach their partners without criticism and nagging. Women tend to become alot more emotional than men when conflict arises. Men will tend to become distant whereas women tend to nag on the issue because they need to show their emotions. Women also tend to be more insecure than men.

Some tips for fair fighting in a relationship

Don't blame - Make suggestions instead. Also before discussing, try role reversal. Put yourself in your partner's shoes for a moment and try to picture the conflict from their point of view.

Deal with one issue at a time. Don't bring up multiple issues at once. That is mental overload on both of you. DON'T continuously bring up past issues into current issues.

Men shouldn't run away during a fight. If you feel you need a time out- ask for one. Reassure your partner that you want to continue to talk about but you just need to take a mental time out. Women shouldn't follow your partner if they need that time out. Give a little space.

Only one person should talk at a time. If you need to set a timer, do so. I know that might sound a bit crazy but make it that each person gets 2 minutes at a time. Don't speak while your partner is speaking. LISTEN!!! Ask them to do the same while you are speaking. Again, always try to see the fight from your partner's view as well as your own.

Fair fighting in a relationship is a committment to your relationship, a committment to each other. It helps to understand each other and each other's needs.

The goal in fair fighting in a relationship is to get the anger out, get the hurt out, get those feelings validated without alienating your partner.

Remember, you love each other for a reason. You chose to be together for a reason. Take responsibility for your faults as well. Remember, if you are the wrong one, Say I AM SORRY. Don't let pride get in the way. Don't always expect to resolve issues all at once. No matter what the experts say, it is OK to go to bed mad sometimes. All issues can't be resolved right away

If you enjoyed reading this post, check out the post on what a good relationship is. Here is the link

What is a good relationship?

Have you ever looked at your relationships and wondered what was missing? You can never seem to find that someone special or that special bond that you see some of your friends sharing with their spouse or significant other. Have you ever asked yourself "What is wrong with me" or "Why can't I find that"?

What makes a relationship really work? It's easy to fall in love but how do you stay in love?

A good relationship (a healthy relationship) has been proven to boost happiness, reduce depression and provide a more financially stable background.

It has been proven that people are not really in touch with their relationships. Too many people wait until it is too late to save the relationship before they start to try. Getting rid of your partner (if your partner is an overall good person) does not solve the problem. Especially when you may not even realize that half the problem lies within yourself. It takes two to make a relationship work and there is no such thing as a perfect person. When you look at your partner, you can't just see the bad qualities in that person, you need to remember all the good qualities that made you fall in love in the first place. So many relationships fail because two people simply forget how to understand each other.

Lack of understanding and communication causes unresolved anger. Males and females are naturally made up of different components. We have different weaknesses and different strengths. Just think, if we were the complete same as our partner, how boring would that be? No matter how different we are though, we all have the same deep down inner needs, the need for desire, intimacy and love. We all long for that closeness. Stop what you think is the "fair" thing to do and start doing what is going to make your relationship really work.

Alot of relationships that fail could have actually been saved. No matter how long you have been together, you can learn how to make your relationship work.

My husband and I were together for 6 years before we got married. Within 4 months of marriage, I thought we were heading for divorce. The arguing got so bad that he totally withdrew from me. One morning, I woke up and realized that I didn't want to live without my husband. I sat down and wrote a list of things that I (not him but me) was doing wrong. Yes, those words taste like vinegar when I say alot of the issues were stemming from me (not all but alot). When I made a few changes both emotionally and physically, it was amazing how my relationship turned around. Today, my marriage is very strong. We are what we were 8 years ago, BEST FRIENDS!!

Here is a pic taken of me and my husband on New Years Eve (Dec 31, 2011) I love my husband and it took alot of work to get where we are today (after 8 years of being together) If you look at my husband's hand on my arm, he has that protective nature of me. He doesn't even realize it. I showed him this picture and when I told him how much the picture touched me, he was like "huh"?? LOL Moral of the story: Men aren't always so bright so just need a little guidance. My husband does have such a protective, caring way with me and he doesn't even realize it. He's always looking out for me. He cherishes me and everything I do (as well as I do him) and that is so important. Just learn to cherish each other. He's my very best friend in the world. We have learned to appreciate each other's strengths and accept each other's faults.

Relationship Failure - What causes it? There are so many traits that cause relationship failure.

Tip to a truly happy, healthy relationship Click Here!

Do you ever find yourself feeling so envious of that friend of yours that seems to have the perfect life (I think we all have that friend :-) They have a great relationship with their partner (they are like best friends with each other), a great house, good kids, good job and so on. You look at them and think "What is wrong with me" Why don't I have that? I am just as good as them, so Why can't I find that happiness?

You search so hard for that perfection and the perfect person (which none of us are perfect so you will never find that) Even that perfect friend has their flaws. Unfortunately, that search for perfection either keeps us single or keeps us in an unhealthy relationship that is destined for relationship failure.

Why does this happen? Simple truth is your are simply avoiding facing reality. We never want to admit that we once again made a bad relationship choice and that is absolutely normal. Nobody likes to admit failure of any kind. Nobody is perfect. We all make mistakes so you need to ask yourself this question- How do I avoid making that same relationship failure mistake again and again?

Fact is relationship failure is one of the biggest causes of unhappiness and stress in life and learning to have a successful relationship is one of the most important skills we can learn. Is it easy to learn? Not necessarily. With learning, there needs to be change. Alot of us don't like change but change can be a great thing and can be the key to alot of happiness.

The most common reasons why relationships fail are as follows (aside from finances and stress of raising children):

* Jealousy and Possessiveness- Everybody needs their own personal space. Every relationship needs trust- Without trust, you will almost surely have relationship failure. Once trust is broken, it is very hard- damn near impossible- to get back.

* Selfishness- Don't always put your own needs first. Try to always put yourself in your partner's shoes. Always try to look at situations from both sides (yours and his) and give yourself some constructive criticism. Remember, true love should be a selfless act- given without the expectation of receiving anything back (now of course, you don't want to be with a person who is completely selfish either- You don't want to be the only one giving in the relationship) Relationships are two way streets.

*No time or too much time- Make time for each other but also allow each of you your own personal space. Create dreams and goals together but allow each other to also pursue their dreams and goals (as we all don't have the same desires)

Agree to disagree. Love with your complete heart

Learn to love yourself first. It's easy to completely love someone else if you love yourself first

For more in depth relationship guidance, Visit my website

Are you just stressed thinking about how to make your relationship better and you are mentally burned out? Well, bookmark this blog to come back to and just check out my funny facebook status blog for a good laugh
Here is the link

A day without laughter is a day wasted :-)