Tuesday, January 29, 2013

How people should feel in a relationship quote

How people should feel in a relationship quote


When you are in a relationship, this is how you should feel.  Don't cheat.  Leave before you cheat.  Never underestimate either yourself or your partner.

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Make him emotionally dependent on you

Make him emotionally dependent on you

Whenever you hear the word “dependency,” most of us think in terms of some form of addiction or disease. It tends to imply something that should be avoided, fixed, or terminated.

Most individuals with dependencies are those with addictive personalities, and thus rely on others to meet their needs and fulfill their responsibilities. That’s certainly not the type of person you want to be in a relationship with, or aspire to become.

What if I told you that making a man emotionally dependent on you was a good thing? In fact, what if I could convince you that a man wants to be emotionally dependent on his woman?

The truth is that men enjoy being charmed by a woman and enjoy doing things to make her happy. As farfetched as this might sound, I promise you that most men view a relationship with a woman as a prize. A woman has the ability to take away a man’s pain and make him feel powerful at the same time. This happens when a woman does these two things:

1) She Puts Her Heart Ahead of Any Man

Some women mistake this for acting like a spoiled brat but it's actual quiet appealing to men. When a client asks me, "How do I put my heart ahead of a man?" I explain it this way. Imagine you had a small child walking around with you wherever you went. Let's pretend that small child is actually your Heart. Let's also pretend that it was your job to protect this small child (your heart).

Now, if a man was rude to this child what would you do? Ignore his bad behavior because he's really cute? Tell the little girl that it's her fault...because he's really cute? Oh I hope not!

Hopefully you'd defend her. You'd leave with the little girl, or tell the guy to stop. You'd do something. Yet so many women tolerate bad behavior from a guy because he's really cute (sexy, hot, etc.) and when he leaves them I get emails begging me to help them get him back.

They put the guy ahead of their heart which actually makes him think of her not as special, but rather pitiful. Ladies, it’s never a good idea to put any man ahead of your own heart. Please resist any urge to do so and let me teach you how to put your heart first.

2) She is Easy to Please

This may sound like a contradiction, but it's really not. When a woman puts her heart first it keeps her from becoming resentful. She doesn't tolerate bad behavior which means she isn't resentful toward the man she loves. Conflicts occur, but they are talked about and solved instead of ignored.

Because she isn't full of resentment, she is naturally easy to please. When her man does something she enjoys, she doesn't just say "thanks" but rather gives an emotional response. For example, the wonderful dinner wasn’t just "nice" it was "Wonderful!"

When he offers to help her she doesn't say "thank you" she says "That makes me feel special when you help me like that."When a man feels he can arouse an amazing woman's emotions, he'll become emotionally dependent on that woman and be willing to do almost anything to please her.

See more at www.winningatlove.com

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Men don't really want a perfect woman

Men don't really want a perfect woman

After years of listening to women in my private practice, many women seem to think that men expect nothing less than perfection. I've spent my entire life listening to other men and I can tell you this with absolutely no doubt, men don't need a woman to be perfect to fall head over heals in love with her.

If you were to visit some popular men's websites such as; askmen.com or maximum.com you would certainly think that unless a woman is both highly attractive and incredibly accommodating, that men have no interest. This is not really accurate. At least not in the way you might think.

I often illustrate this to women by asking this question:

"If you had a choice between two men and everything about them was exactly the same, with the exception of one being worth millions and one being poor, who would you prefer? Would you select the wealthy one, or the one who was poor?"

Answer: If they were equal in all other aspects, most women state that they would choose the wealthy gentleman. I mean, why not if everything else is equal?

Now when men hear this some are likely to say, "That's right, all a woman cares about is a guy who makes a lot of money." In fact, that conclusion would be incorrect. A man would be wrong to assume that just because a woman likes the characteristic of a man with money that she cannot love a man unless he is wealthy. In fact, most women I speak with tell me this, "It isn't that he has to make a certain amount, but I would like to know that he hasthe potential to make enough for me to feel comfortable." In fact, most women are willing and/or expect to help out financially.

This same standard applies to men. If given the choice between a woman whom they believe is very attractive, or one who appears to take no interest in her appearance, they will choose the attractive one. This doesn't mean that they will only consider a woman who is striking.

Take a look at most married men and you will see that plenty of women who would not be considered "perfect" have husbands who choose to marry them. Why would this be? The answer is that the quality of being authentic is actually more potent in the arena of love than perfection. Being authentic causes a woman to act in such a manner that is enchanting.

This woman is well aware that she has issues (don't we all) and yet, she understands the balance between improving herself and being comfortable with where she is currently in her life. She doesn't work hard at convincing others (i.e. men) that she is perfect. Rather she is very attune to the needs of her heart, and takes full responsibility for meeting those needs. It's the core principle I teach every woman who wants to become captivating to men.

Here's an exercise that will illustrate my point. The next time you are in a crowded area take a moment and casually look around at the men. Take at least 5 minutes and you will find that the men are all looking at the women. ALL OF THE WOMEN! They will be looking at the tall ones, short ones, skinny ones, curvy ones and on and on and on....

Don't take my word for it. Try it and see for yourself. You will discover that as a woman, men are hard wired to find you appealing

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What do men crave

What do men crave?

Do you think you know what men crave more than anything else? If I ask most women this question, I'd likely get such responses as:

Men want a woman who always agrees with him.

Men crave a Sex Kitten - she always says yes to his request.

All men want someone with the perfect body.

Of course most men would like those things, but they wouldn't do whatever it takes to get please a woman who meets those superficial requirements. No, the woman he’d do whatever it takes to make her happy possesses a special understanding about men.

Men crave praise and admiration more than anything else.

I can't emphasis this enough. Men are powerless to resist the woman who truly and wholeheartedly shows her admiration for him and what he does.

Now before I go further, let me tell you what this doesn't mean. It isn't as simple as just saying nice things to him. There is much more to it than that. Here are 3 key ingredients for making him powerless to resist you.

1) You must be a woman worthy of his admiration. I'm not talking about being perfect, but you must demonstrate value. Does he feel lucky to have you in his life? Are you willing to disagree with him when he's wrong and not back down? You are the one who determines your value, not him. If you’re not doing these things, then he won't take your compliments very seriously. You need to be a woman he admires so that your praise means a great deal to him.

2) You must understand what he likes about himself.Do you know how he sees himself?
Does he think he's a good athlete or a wonderful businessman? This is critical because these qualities mean a lot to him. Praising him for something he values makes him feel that you truly understand him. Praising him for things you like alone will have little impact.

3) Don't keep your thoughts to yourself. When you see him doing something you admire, speak up. You don't have to pretend you admire something about him that you really don't. Instead, don't hold back when he does something impressive. Let him know how amazing he is!

He may try and minimize your compliment and if he does I want you to do the same thing I do with a client when they try and deflect a compliment:

I look them directly in the eyes and say, "I'm not asking you, I'm telling you. You can dismiss what I said all you want but I'm right about this. You really are _________________ (fill in blank with whatever you admire)."

Here's why it works. Deep down he's hoping you really mean it. He's just afraid to trust it. When you follow up with the statement I've suggested he won't just hear it...he'll feel it. At that moment you will stand out from every other woman he’s ever met because you've given him the type of praise he secretly craves.

Getting back with my ex

Getting back with my ex

To help you and your ex get back together, you need to understand
the right way to formulate a game plan for getting the relationship
to rekindle properly and proactively. Should you go to her and beg
her to return to you? This is probably not the best way for you to
facilitate getting back together with your ex. In order to help you
and your ex get back together, you need to figure out what actions
will actually drive the right results.

All relationships have the occasional hardship, and some of those
hardships do eventually end in breakup, separation or divorce
depending on the nature of the union. Just because the relationship
has ended, though, it does not mean you were ready for it.

If you want to help you and your ex get back together, you need to
brainstorm solutions that actually address the problems in your

In other words, if you want to help you and your ex get back
together, you need to be proactive about rekindling the relationship
rather than acting desperately.

So what is the perfect solution for someone who wants to rekindle
their relationship?

- * If you want to help you and your ex get back together, first
and foremost you need to figure out what caused the relationship to
dissolve in the first place.

- * If you want to help you and your ex get back together, then the
second thing that you need to do is to calm yourself down so that
the drama can subside and so that there are no feelings of
desperation in play. This is the only way that you will be able to
determine whether or not the relationship is really meant to be.

- * If you want to help you and your ex get back together, the next
thing that you are going to want to do is sit down with your ex and
let her know that you are interested in rekindling things. Try to
find out what her reaction is before you really put your effort into
making things work again. Is she receptive to the idea?

- * If you want to help you and your ex get back together, then you
have to be ready to do a lot of talking, negotiating and figuring
things out. No relationship is going to fall back together easily,
so be prepared to work hard and do some serious thinking and
communicating before anything real happens.

At the end of the day, simply wanting to get back together with your
ex will not make it happen. You need to be willing to put some
serious effort into making it happen if you want to achieve the
desired results. The more work that you put into it, the better the
results will be when it comes to rekindling a lost love.

Hope this helped