Sunday, March 25, 2012

Do long distance relationships work

Do long distance relationships work

Is There Such Thing as a Successful Long Distance Relationship

Author: Rob Dunsmuir

A long distance relationship can be terrifying. I was in a long distance relationship twice with the same woman. I went on to marry this woman and live in the same city. I was a failure in a long distance relationship, and I was a success in a long distance relationship. My long distance relationship was heart breaking at times, and it was amazing at times. Let me explain the 5 key areas to having a successful long distance relationship.

1. Emotions in a Long Distance Relationship

Handling your emotions in a long distance relationship can be very difficult. A long distance relationship is very different from a same-city relationship. When you're in a long distance relationship, you have to read more into the words and actions of your partner.

2. Methods of Communication

A long distance relationship has different methods of communication. My first long distance relationship in 1994, was just the telephone. I spent $300 a month on long distance telephone calls. This was the main reason the long distance relationship failed - we couldn't justify the costs.

With the Internet you can have a long distance relationship for free using programs like MSN. Textual chat is one way, voice chat (like an audio conversation) is another, and best of all is video chat (face to face communication using web cameras). My 2nd long distance relationship with the same woman used MSN and web cameras for video conferencing. It was amazing to see each other every night. You could see the emotion in your partner's face - it was the main reason our long distance relationship was successful the time around.

3. Growing Together While Living Apart

Using programs like Skype, or MSN can allow you to grow together in your long distance relationship. It's essential to make the connection and make the most of your valuable communication time. Having a face to face conversation, sharing instant messenger messages, cell phone text messages, email messages are just some of the ways you can grow together with your partner in a long distance relationship.

4. Potential Problems and Mistakes

There are potential problems and mistakes in a long distance relationship. The biggest problem is 'misunderstanding'. In my 2nd long distance relationship, I relied on email and cell phone text messaging for the majority of my communication - I would misread text a lot of the time.

Text has no emotion, like in an email, or a cell phone text message. There aren't enough smileys or emoticons to describe one's feelings. Text is just black on white, very faceless, and I found I would misinterpret a message. That little voice inside my head would play on it.

My biggest piece of advice is to not let your heart-strings be tugged by text. Take it at face value in context of the rest of the message or messages, and trust in yourself that everything is fine. You'll be able to clarify the conversation when you speak with your partner face to face later in the day or evening.

5. How to Keep your Long Distance Relationship Interesting

Keeping your long distance relationship interesting is essential. Sharing the conversation is crucial. On average a person listens for 17 seconds before interrupting. Listen twice as much as you speak. Show your respect and admiration for your partner by sharing the conversation.

My partner and I would play online games together through MSN or other web sites. We'd share photo and news stories with each other. There was always a things to do with each other. Communicating online opened so many doors for keeping the long distance relationship interesting.


So if you're not sure whether you're ready for a long distance relationship, ask yourself these questions:

1. Am I willing to make the time to communicate with my partner

2. Do I have the tools (MSN, Webcam, Headset, Microphone) to have a long distance relationship online

3. Am I emotionally equipped to have a long distance relationship, where I may not speak with the person every day, and where I may have to rely on email or text messaging for my emotional needs

If you can answer Yes to these 3 questions, you are certainly ready for a long distance relationship. A long distance relationship can be one of the most rewarding love relationships.

A long distance relationship builds emotions at a different levels and in different areas of the relationship than a usual same-city relationship. If you can survive the distance, you can have a successful long distance relationship. Best of luck to you!

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About the Author

Rob Dunsmuir lives in Canada and has two young daughters. He has much experience in long distance relationships and dating. He dated his wife twice in a long distance relationship - once for 6 months, and a 2nd time for 2 years. Rob married his long distance sweetheart in 2007. Read Rob's Long Distance Relationship Guide for more tips and insight.

Do long distance relationships work?

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