Sunday, March 25, 2012

Do long distance relationships work

Do long distance relationships work

Is There Such Thing as a Successful Long Distance Relationship

Author: Rob Dunsmuir

A long distance relationship can be terrifying. I was in a long distance relationship twice with the same woman. I went on to marry this woman and live in the same city. I was a failure in a long distance relationship, and I was a success in a long distance relationship. My long distance relationship was heart breaking at times, and it was amazing at times. Let me explain the 5 key areas to having a successful long distance relationship.

1. Emotions in a Long Distance Relationship

Handling your emotions in a long distance relationship can be very difficult. A long distance relationship is very different from a same-city relationship. When you're in a long distance relationship, you have to read more into the words and actions of your partner.

2. Methods of Communication

A long distance relationship has different methods of communication. My first long distance relationship in 1994, was just the telephone. I spent $300 a month on long distance telephone calls. This was the main reason the long distance relationship failed - we couldn't justify the costs.

With the Internet you can have a long distance relationship for free using programs like MSN. Textual chat is one way, voice chat (like an audio conversation) is another, and best of all is video chat (face to face communication using web cameras). My 2nd long distance relationship with the same woman used MSN and web cameras for video conferencing. It was amazing to see each other every night. You could see the emotion in your partner's face - it was the main reason our long distance relationship was successful the time around.

3. Growing Together While Living Apart

Using programs like Skype, or MSN can allow you to grow together in your long distance relationship. It's essential to make the connection and make the most of your valuable communication time. Having a face to face conversation, sharing instant messenger messages, cell phone text messages, email messages are just some of the ways you can grow together with your partner in a long distance relationship.

4. Potential Problems and Mistakes

There are potential problems and mistakes in a long distance relationship. The biggest problem is 'misunderstanding'. In my 2nd long distance relationship, I relied on email and cell phone text messaging for the majority of my communication - I would misread text a lot of the time.

Text has no emotion, like in an email, or a cell phone text message. There aren't enough smileys or emoticons to describe one's feelings. Text is just black on white, very faceless, and I found I would misinterpret a message. That little voice inside my head would play on it.

My biggest piece of advice is to not let your heart-strings be tugged by text. Take it at face value in context of the rest of the message or messages, and trust in yourself that everything is fine. You'll be able to clarify the conversation when you speak with your partner face to face later in the day or evening.

5. How to Keep your Long Distance Relationship Interesting

Keeping your long distance relationship interesting is essential. Sharing the conversation is crucial. On average a person listens for 17 seconds before interrupting. Listen twice as much as you speak. Show your respect and admiration for your partner by sharing the conversation.

My partner and I would play online games together through MSN or other web sites. We'd share photo and news stories with each other. There was always a things to do with each other. Communicating online opened so many doors for keeping the long distance relationship interesting.

Conclusion

So if you're not sure whether you're ready for a long distance relationship, ask yourself these questions:

1. Am I willing to make the time to communicate with my partner

2. Do I have the tools (MSN, Webcam, Headset, Microphone) to have a long distance relationship online

3. Am I emotionally equipped to have a long distance relationship, where I may not speak with the person every day, and where I may have to rely on email or text messaging for my emotional needs

If you can answer Yes to these 3 questions, you are certainly ready for a long distance relationship. A long distance relationship can be one of the most rewarding love relationships.

A long distance relationship builds emotions at a different levels and in different areas of the relationship than a usual same-city relationship. If you can survive the distance, you can have a successful long distance relationship. Best of luck to you!

Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/dating-articles/is-there-such-thing-as-a-successful-long-distance-relationship-457608.html

About the Author

Rob Dunsmuir lives in Canada and has two young daughters. He has much experience in long distance relationships and dating. He dated his wife twice in a long distance relationship - once for 6 months, and a 2nd time for 2 years. Rob married his long distance sweetheart in 2007. Read Rob's Long Distance Relationship Guide for more tips and insight.


Do long distance relationships work?

A day without laughter is a day wasted. Check out my funny joke blog for some good chuckles

Here is the link to that one
http://mostfunnyfacebookstatus.blogspot.com/

For more chatter on different relationship issues, check out the main page of this blog
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How to improve your relationship

How to improve your relationship

How to Improve Your Relationships

Author: The Relationship Blog

When the spark in your relationship appears to dim, it's time to take action, before things turn rotten. The problem is that most people don't appreciate that good relationships don't just appear out of thin air. They need to be worked at. It takes a lot of effort for a couple to be blissfully happy and content for ten years or more.

Don't blame your partner
One of the major problems when relationships go south is that the people in couples tend to blame each other, or even worse, blame themselves. Halt this rubbish right now. The fact is, it takes two of you to play up, and if there is a fault with your relationship, it's because of both of you.

Make more effort
One of the worst facts of life is that partners, after spending a few years together, rarely make an effort when it comes to how they look. This can have a bad effect on any relationship. If the woman doesn't bother with her appearance any more, the man is going to notice – and the same is true if the man doesn't bother changing from his work dress in the evening, or if he doesn't shave. It seems like you don't care – not very inspiring for a healthy relationship! So make an effort to dress up – you'll be stunned how much of a difference it can make!

Make time for each other
Aside from blaming people, you need to create time to rekindle things. Obviously, both of you have tight schedules, but unless you can find time to see each other, for the two of you, your problems are unlikely to get better. Set some time aside, at least twice a week, when you and your partner can enjoy some private time together with no distractions.

Spend time together
Socializing as a couple, with other people, is a brilliant way to better your relationship. Make sure you have a regular meeting with some old friends, either at yours, at their place, or somewhere else. Seeing old friends, you'll have a fun time and it will help you to feel happy again!

Work on your love life
One of the biggest causes of relationship problems is due to the "sex factor". It's an interesting fact that many married and/or long term couples rarely have great sex lives. This can be a major cause of relationship issues, or it can happen as a result of these troubles. Do something to add some spice to your loves lives, such as going out for a candlelit meal to get you in the mood, or do something more extreme to spice things up, such as buying some sex toys, watching x-movies etc etc. If it comes to it, even consider seeing a sex counselor. Sex is a big part of any relationship, and if you don't work on this then your problems are unlikely to go away.

Read more about relationship issues on TheRelationshipBlog.net

Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/sexuality-articles/how-to-improve-your-relationships-5419171.html

About the Author

TheRelationshipBlog.net is a blog targeted towards couples, singles and groups, for both men and women. We will try our best to bring you great articles, advice, interesting topics and the latest online guides available in the world of relationship.


How to improve your relationship

For some good laughs, check out my funny joke blog

Here is the link
http://mostfunnyfacebookstatus.blogspot.com/

For more tips on how to improve your relationship, check out the main page of this blog. A lot of different relationship issues are written about
Here is the link back to the main page
Enjoy

Thursday, March 22, 2012

How to work on communication in a relationship

How to work on communication in a relationship

Problems In Our Relationship - Reaching Solutions More Easily

Author: Anthony S Carter

Have you ever been in a relationship where you thought to yourself "if only my partner would... we would be the happiest couple on earth?" It is a common thought amongst couples that experience problems in their relationships. Most people feel as though the only way to get past a problem and move forward in the relationship is through direct interaction with their partner to "fix" the problem so that the two of them can be happier together.

Now, whether the interaction happens to be direct communication with your partner or indirect through the use of your own behavior, such as becoming distant, the problem may not necessarily get "fixed" as you may have expected. In fact, the problem could get worse or even multiply into more problems, as in a case where one uses negative behavior as "punishment" for their partner's behavior.

Most couples handle problems when both individuals are at their happiest, themselves, and about the state of the relationship. Communication can be done much more clearly and positively. On the other hand, communication, no matter how good, can be completely ineffective if both partners are already feeling uncertain, simply leading to more arguments.

So, how can you improve happiness of both you and your partner in order to have a better chance at reaching a solution to a problem, especially without communication. You can begin by concentrating on the positive aspects of the relationship. What do you love best about your partner? What parts of your relationship are already great? Do not waste time and energy dwelling in the areas of your relationship that could use improvement. Over emphasizing problems only makes you lose sight of the good in the relationship and further decreases your level of happiness.

As you continue to concetrate on the strong points in your relationship, your mood will improve. Your partner will take notice and "feed" off of your own perceived happiness, which will also help to improve his or her own mood. As you and your partner begin to feel better about the relationship as a whole, the improved happiness of you both will allow the two of you to more easily communicate and reach a solution to your problems. In some cases, believe it or not, the problems may simply go away on their own.

Communication, while essential in any relationship is not the only means to improvement and happiness. This was just one way you can do lots to improve the happiness in your relationship on your own, while opening the door to reaching solutions to problems, and ultimately making your relationship a fulfilling and closer one.

Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/dating-articles/problems-in-our-relationship-reaching-solutions-more-easily-3104108.html

About the Author

Learn the secrets to communication and romance in your relationship with this FREE e-book

www.readintoyourrelationship.com/relationships.html

I'm just your average guy for the most part... average guy who has been through his share of less than perfect relationships. I began reading and researching how best to improve both myself, personally, and the success of the relationships I'm involved in now and/or the future.


A little relationship inspiration for today

Hope you found helpful

If you feel like having a few laughs tonight, check out my funny image joke blog
Here is the link

Make and take the time to make your relationship work
Work on communication in your relationship
For more relationship chatter, check out the main page of this blog and scroll around
(Note regarding most recent post- I write this blog to help women in their relationships. Some articles I write myself and some articles I do share from other authors. I add this note to the end of all my posts now because I received an email from a reader stating that I "steal" content. I struggled a lot of life struggles and a lot of relationship struggles. I read a lot and I write a lot. I have learned a bunch from books and the internet. The internet is made to share information. When I read an article that I enjoy or one that has helped me in an emotional way, I share it on this blog; however, I ALWAYS give credit to the author. I don't claim to have wrote it myself. I give the author credit for the time they invested in writing the article. I share their article and give them full credit for that article. I just share their articles to save people time from searching for solutions and they took the time to write those articles for them to be shared. Your time is valuable. I am just trying to help people avoid the obstacles that I have already overcome. I apologize if anyone thinks that I am "stealing" other's glory. Again, the author of the articles that I post are always recognized.
Here is the link back to my main page- Enjoy
http://figureoutmen.blogspot.com/

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Communication in a relationship is vital

Relationship Communication - Remaining in the Place of Love

Author: Colin Martin

As the years go by in a long term relationship, it can be difficult to communicate as if your in love. I know you are still in love but the ego, always wanting to be heard, can easily rear it's ugly head and make it so hard to be centered. Communication on a balanced level is one of the most important factors in keeping a relationship long term. It's all too simple to get caught up in your world...one where it seems as if everything is going wrong and no one understands. Maybe your significant other doesn't fully understand, but expressing your ability to let them in and keep them in creates bonding.

When typical fights break out what do you really hear? It's not just complaints about who left the toilet seat down, dirty socks left around the house or who didn't take out the garbage. What you will hear behind those words is a cry for attention. "Listen to me...I still matter. I'm still me." When you realize the intention of most relationship arguments, it's easy to take a step back and include your lover in your communication. In a long term relationship, you can lose your identity very quickly. When both lovers say "I hear you" the balance of communication takes place.

Most relationship articles will tell you that listening is the most important part of communication. But beyond just listening, an acknowledgment has to take place. The person you love so dear is crying for attention, not just from you...remember you are the one who pays the most attention to her, but from the world. Bonding the strength of a long term commitment means to create a team. One that sets you apart from the rest of the world. One that tells your lover that you are not only "there for them," but there for each other. We need to know that are partner has our back, understands the things we feel and knows wholeheartedly that we are an inseparable team.

It's easy to get up in the little things. Seeing the big picture takes a little more discipline. But the payoff is huge! Can you hear the words of your partner and what they are really saying? Of course you can...that's why you love them.

How do you create an everlasting quality for your relationship today? For nearly 20 years one man, Colin Martin, has searched for and found the number one secret to building an exceptional romantic relationship. The answer doesn't lie in the endless volumes of self help books and repetitive talk shows, but within yourself!

Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/marriage-articles/relationship-communication-remaining-in-the-place-of-love-1653207.html

About the Author

Colin Martin writes daily on finding your soulmate and improving relationships for the web. He also hosts a radio show at: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/beyoutofull


For more relationship talk, check out the main page of this blog
Here is the link

Or do you just feel like having some laughs tonight, check out my funny joke blog
Here is the link to that

A day without laughter is a day wasted Enjoy

(Note regarding most recent post- I write this blog to help women in their relationships. Some articles I write myself and some articles I do share from other authors. I add this note to the end of all my posts now because I received an email from a reader stating that I "steal" content. I struggled a lot of life struggles and a lot of relationship struggles. I read a lot and I write a lot. I have learned a bunch from books and the internet. The internet is made to share information. When I read an article that I enjoy or one that has helped me in an emotional way, I share it on this blog; however, I ALWAYS give credit to the author. I don't claim to have wrote it myself. I give the author credit for the time they invested in writing the article. I share their article and give them full credit for that article. I just share their articles to save people time from searching for solutions and they took the time to write those articles for them to be shared. Your time is valuable. I am just trying to help people avoid the obstacles that I have already overcome. I apologize if anyone thinks that I am "stealing" other's glory. Again, the author of the articles that I post are always recognized.)

Sunday, March 18, 2012

How to make a relationship- Make a relationship last


How to make a relationship? A lot of people wonder how to be in a relationship and how to make a relationship last? The answer is honestly simple. Show acts of kindness to your partner and ALWAYS respect both yourself and your partner. Never allow yourself to be disrespected and never disrespect your partner. You should be with your partner because ultimately, they are your best friend. Yes, you will have disagreements and yes, you will have arguments. Yes, there will be times when you get so furious with them that you just want to explode. No relationship is perfect, no person is perfect, but in the long run, your partner should be your best friend. They should be your biggest confidante and supporter. I can't stress this enough to people. Don't hold grudges. We are all human and we all make mistakes. If you have a decent person with a bunch of wonderful qualities, hold on to them, be kind to them. Always remember that nobody is irreplacable and what you don't appreciate, someone else may come along and appreciate it. Everyone in this world wants to be appreciated deep inside. They may not admit it but they really do. I honestly believe that this is why the divorce rate is so high nowadays. We lose sight in appreciating each other. Yes, sometimes the grass may look greener on the other side- But is it? Sometimes, you take the gamble to check it out and you ultimately lose and than you end up with a bunch of regrets. It took me 6 years to marry my husband. We got together 10/10/04 and we married 10/10/10. We went through a bunch of rocky times but overall, he always remained my number one supporter. I went through a lot of emotional issues in my life and honestly, if I was him, I would have left me. I would have NEVER probably stuck by me the way he did (if I was him). That's real love. I started a whole self help journey a few years back and I honestly changed my life and my whole way of thinking. I thank God for leading me down that road. If you are interested in reading my story, I will post the link to my inspirational blog post (that's another blog) lol but I will post the link at the end of this post. I don't want to bore you with those details if you aren't interested LOL. I don't blame you. I am not interested in reading or remembering my past either haha

Relationships do take work. To make a relationship work takes work, compromise and change. There is a reason why John Gray took the time and energy to write the book Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. I have read that book and loved it. There is so much truth in it. If you haven't read it, go to the library, check it out and read it.

I have learned to overlook some of my pet peeves whereas my husband is concerned because I cherish his good. Him and I both agree that divorce is never in our vocabulary. I know that sounds crazy but it's true in our relationship. We believe in making our relationship last. We are each other's best friend, each other's biggest supporter as we grow in our lives and yes, we bicker like cats and dogs LOL. We support and challenge each other. Do we both know that we each have each other's backs always??? Absolutely.

Kindness in a relationship is so important. I always look for the good in my husband even when he is driving me nuts with problems or annoyances. Remembering and cherishing the good makes a big difference in the quality of a relationship. This is how you make a relationship last.

How do I practice kindness in my own relationship? I do it in many ways. Ways that really don't require a lot of work. I pack my husbands lunch a lot for work. My husband is really bad in that area. He would rather just buy out everyday. I pack my lunch probably 3 days a week and buy out two (buying out gets expensive :-( ). In our younger years together, it would drive me crazy that my husband wouldn't pack his lunch. I used to think that I wasn't his mother and that I shouldn't have to pack his lunch. That's a shallow way of thinking. No, I don't have to pack his lunch (just the same as he doesn't have to pick up the slack in areas that I lack in). The older I get, the more I realize that him and I are a team. It is easier for me to just pack his lunch when I pack mine and we don't have as many money fights (because he isn't buying out so much). In the same aspect, I have a really tough time dealing with my father who lives a thousand miles away. He comes to visit 3 weeks out of the summer. He is an alcoholic. He is addicted to prescription drugs and is bipolar. I have a really hard emotional time dealing with him (even when he just calls on the phone). I love him, he is my father but he is an emotional downer for me. What does my husband do when he comes to town or calls in one of his manic stages? My husband (my best friend) totally steps up to the plate and deals with him. Yes, I should be able to deal with my own father but yet, I can't. My husband knows that and he's so good with dealing with my father. He will take him out for hours on our boat or just take him somewhere away from me because he knows that it emotionally drains me and I suffer from it. My dad does live a thousand miles away so it's not an everyday struggle but he does call a lot in manic mode and I really struggle with this. My husband will sit there and talk to him on the phone just so I don't have to (and I know that he probably doesn't want to be on that phone either but he knows that it causes me a deep emotional pain and he hates to see me hurting). Again, it has always been a bad emotional struggle for me whereas my father is concerned. My husband knows that so he tries to protect me from that. Do I complain if I am packing his lunch while he is talking to my dad on the phone?? LOL!! NO. Even when he's not dealing with my dad, I still pack his lunches and I put him a napkin in his lunch and I write on the paper towel, I love you. Have a great day XOXO
He enjoys that. I always call him on his lunch break just to ask him how his day is going and I blow kisses to him on the phone. I let him know that I am interested in his day. I am interested in him. When he is fussing about work,I listen. I don't try to fix it. I often just try to crack a joke about it to make him laugh. When he is having a bad day, I tell him what I love about him. When he's having an awful day at work and comes home, I look at him and say "Gee, that bad day must have made your butt look better because your butt is looking a lot firmer and cuter today" and I pinch his butt. That always makes him laugh. I know it's corny but sometimes laughter is the best medicine. :-) I just believe in doing something special for my husband each day. I accept his areas where he is weak and I love the areas that he is strong.

Patience is not just a virtue, it's a useful tool for all aspects of life. When it comes to marriage, patience is vital in helping you understand the complexities of committing your life to another person. Let me add to this post by saying that both my husband and I have daughter's from prior relationships. Above all hurdles that we have overcome, we have dealt with the blended family ordeals as well. We have two beautiful daughters (10 and 13). My daughter's father is not in the picture. My husband has been her father and they have a wonderful relationship. On the other hand, I deal with a lot of baby mama drama on the side of my step-daughter LOL. It's OK though- I love my husband and my step-daughter with all my heart so I make the effort to make it all workout in the end.

For more relationship chatter, visit the main page of this site
http://figureoutmen.blogspot.com/

As promised, my links back to my journey of self help. Click through the main page- Take my quotes to heart and click through to read my story Enjoy

http://lovinglifeisimportant.blogspot.com/

Friday, March 16, 2012

Coping with jealousy in a relationship

Jealousy in a relationship is tough. How do you cope with jealousy? If you have read my blog, you know that in the early stages of my relationship, I cheated on my husband. He was my boyfriend at the time. We were early in our relationship and I cheated. I broke the trust boundary; therefore, it caused him to be extremely jealous back than. (Note: He's not that way anymore but it took a long time to get him over that hump).

What are the types of jealousy in a relationship that need to be talked about and need to be thought about? There are different styles of jealousy in a relationship. They are cingy, paranoid, manipulative and exhibitionistic. These styles are a combination of inner needs, ways of relating, and experiencing, and past experiences and how they were internalized. These different styles of jealousy in a relationship are very complex, and you may find that your partner does not clearly fit any of them, or that they fit some parts of them.

If your partner's jealousy is the clingy type, that means that they are very demanding that your time, attention and interest be given only to them. They are very attentive to you, does nurturing and caring things for you and takes good care of you. This may sound desirable, and these are some of the behaviors and attitudes that attracted you to them in the first place. However, they also go overboard with the attention. They can be smothering, overwhelming, touchy, hurt when you don't tell them your every thought, feeling and idea. This is what happened with my own husband. If you feel overprotected, as if you are suffocating from attention and you cannot be independent at well as interdependent, then you may have a partner with a clingy style. It took a lot of work on my part to get my husband out of this stage. He needed to realize that we have our life together but I also need my own space. This is what called to him as "my box". In order to put my all into my relationship, I needed my own air to breathe. I needed my box and he wasn't allowed into my box. I needed him to trust me. I would never break the trust again and I needed my own space. He either needed to trust me or leave me. I made that very clear to him.

The paranoid style of jealousy in a relationship is one in which your partner sends the double message: get closer but don't get too close. Your partner desires intimacy desperately but is also afraid of it. They let you in to a certain point; however, they emotionally disconnect from you in another. They simply don't trust completely. They fear being hurt and destroyed. They have had an extreme amount of disappointment in the past and they fear feeling that again. The paranoid style is a very uncomfortable one to live with. It creates a lot of tension and stress in the relationship. How do you know if your partner is paranoid when it comes to coping with jealousy in a relationship. Are they any of the following:

suspicious about people and their motives

always expecting to be disappointed and is seldom pleased

on the lookout for signs that you don't care for them or consistent worrying that you are losing interest.

You may wonder to yourself how you were ever attracted to someone like this. They are tense and edgy and always expect the worst all the time. They can't control and manage their inner fears. The very thought of losing you drives them crazy. You have to help them understand that not everyone is out to get them. You love them and that you are different but they need to learn to let go of past experiences to be able to relate to you as a different person.

The manipulative style is just what it sounds like sly, deceitful, cunning and persuasive. You don't recognize the charm of your partner at first. You excuse their behavior. You think that you misunderstood. You see them through rose colored glasses. Let me ask you a question-- Does your partner always find ways to get you to do what they want you to do? You do it but yet, you don't always understand why you couldn't resist your partner's manipulations.

Does your partner say any of the following to you? Just answer the questions in your head and think about your answers.

"You are not giving the attention that I want"

"Give me the admiration that I need"

"I don't need you"

"Aren't I wonderful? I never get any praise...

If your partner is any of the above, it is NOT emotionally healthy.

Everybody gets jealous at some point in their life. Not only in their relationship but in all aspects of life. For example, you may get jealous because a good friend has something that you really desire that you don't have or a coworker gets a promotion that you think you deserved etc. so I think we can all identify with the feelings of jealousy. It is just a lot more difficult to cope with jealousy in your relationship. It's important to understand the roots or causes of the jealousy. In my own situation, my husband has always had a bit of an insecure nature. He has a million wonderful qualites but does have insecurities (as we all do in some way or form) Growing up, my husband always felt inadequate to his brother. His parents babied his brother and everything his brother did or accomplished was always idolized by his parents. He didn't get the attention that his brother did and I honestly believe that this is where his insecurities stemmed from. My cheating didn't help matters either. Again, the cheating was 7 years ago now and we have moved well beyond it. He's older now and much more settled and secure in our relationship. Cheating doesn't have to be the death of a relationship. It was wrong in mine but in some ways, it made us much stronger.

Definitions of jealousy might include some of the following:

* fear of being replaced by a rival, especially in the regard to another's affection
* vindictiveness toward another because of an actual rivalry
* fear of losing someone's love or affection
* the suspicion of rivalry or unfaithfulness

Each of the above has either a direct or indirect expression of fear and personal insecurity.

Jealousy (if it is a normal sense of jealousy) is not something that can't be worked on and improved upon within a relationship. Again, I am talking "normal" amounts of jealousy (not abusive, controlling types).

Here are some ways to strengthen your relationship and to help you cope with your feelings aroused by your partner's jealousy.

*Examine and reflect on your own motives and behavior. Don't deliberately try to arouse your partner's jealousy because you are upset about something. If you already know that it is a weakness of theirs, don't use that as a weapon against them. You are supposed to love them, they are supposed to be your best friend. Remember, each of us have our strengths and each of us have our weaknesses. It is not fair to use your partner's weakness as a power play.

*Ignore your partners behavior when they start to show the jealous traits. If they realize that you are simply going to detach yourself from them and not play into it, than eventually they will realize that you are simply not going to accept these jealous tantrums from them and that you are not going to allow it to affect you.

*Stay detached while they are acting this way

*Remind yourself of your partner's irrational behavior during these jealous moments. Don't indulge in the conversation with them. Again, stay detached.

*Don't retaliate and don't condone it. Just walk away from it. After they calm down, you can talk to them about it and why you just aren't going to accept it (if it was an unjustified episode)

*Give up the fantasy that your partner is going to change. If your partner has thousand of other good qualities beyond this one bad quality. Work on ways to improve it without attacking them verbally.

*Do NOT get friends or relatives involved in the situation. This is a matter between you and your partner and it needs to be worked on between you two (or maybe with the help of an unbiased person such as a counselor)

*NEVER accept emotional or physical abuse

If you love your partner and you have accepted that you need to cope with a certain amount of jealousy in your relationship. You will need to make some reasonable changes. This is a way of working on improving the situation. Make some reasonable changes in your behavior if you find that you are unconsciously doing things that you would rather not do and that these behaviors may be contributing to your partner's jealous nature. Become aware of how much time you actually spend with a particular person or the number of times you quote someone; you can pay attention to ways in which you may be taking your partner for granted and now showing appreciation; you can compliment them more often for things they do positive.

You do not have to make drastic or major changes, just some thoughtful ones. Focus on positive changes, such as being more thoughtful and sensitive. You should never force yourself to make changes that you do not feel right, such as cutting a family member out of your life because of your partner's jealousy.

Hope this article helped. Another good post to read on this blog is certain traits that a relationship require. Here is the link back to that one


Thursday, March 8, 2012

Fight for your relationship- Real love makes life worth living

Real love makes life worth living. It brings out your joyfulness to the fullest. You accept each other the way that each of you are. You encourage each other to become better, more satisfied and more fulfilled. The happiest couples are those that accept that partners and relationships have their limitations.

Real love supports and comforts you when you need it. It provides an encouraging push when you feel stuck. You feel secure, protected and free to grow in your own life. You plan, anticipate and cherish those moments. You make time for the things you love and do them together. You would rather be together than apart. You make time and space for your relationship to flourish. You keep rediscovering and recreating yourself and your relationship.

Real love is worth fighting for. It is worth working smarter and harder to achieve. No matter what you believe, anyone who wants to have a loving relationship can have one. If you haven't had much success in relationships, it is not because there is something wrong with you. It is not because you are not deserving of love. You just haven't had the skills to really learn to connect with someone.

Nothing in life that is worth having comes easily, but relationships don't have to stressful. They should never cause you more stress than joy. Believe in yourself, believe in the power of love and believe that you can truly have the love that you want. Will your relationship be perfect all the time? Of course not. This is life- not a fairy tale :-)



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