As we get older, we start hearing the little pit patter of feet in our minds. We start having dreams of having a husband, two-door garage complete with two point five kids. You may say that you are ready for a relationship. You are not getting any younger and after all you are a good catch. Any man would be lucky to have you as his wife. You are quite right. You are the catch of the year. But are you really ready for a relationship? Are you ready to fully commit to a relationship with someone else? Are you willing to compromise in a healthy manner for the benefit of the relationship? Are you emotionally ready? I remember knowing for a fact that I was ready for a husband and children when I was twenty-three. By all accounts I was ready. I knew how to run a household and I could balance a checkbook with my eyes closed. I was ready to handle the household finances. Of course my husband would never step out on me because I would be the perfect wife. Clearly, I was nowhere near ready for a relationship, nor did I understand fully what was required of me in a relationship. It definitely did not consist of me knowing how to balance a checkbook with my eyes closed.
Eight years later I believed that I was ready to meet that special one who would have the potential to be my husband and the father of my future two point five kids. Once again I thought that I was ready for a relationship. Financially, I was ready. I had my own thriving business and I done a lot of personal development so I thought that I was good. I could manage a home and I knew how to buy one too. By this time, I had also accomplished a lot of things in my life and I felt satisfied with my accomplishments, so I was ready to share my life with that special someone. However, emotionally, when I thought of getting involved I ran so fast in the opposite direction that I could easily have broken Usain Bolt's world record. Unfortunately, my emotional sprint seemed as if I wasn't ready at all for a relationship and it caused my love interests a tremendous amount of hurt and confusion. It was impossible to explain since I was just as confused as they were. Here I was finally receiving something I had been praying for and when it arrived I felt as if I was throwing it back to the Divine One up above. Suffice to say, I went through a rough emotional upheaval.
Unfortunately, I was unaware of the other person's emotional state. They too were not ready for a relationship. What I did not realize was that there were different stages in the emotional growth process. I had felt that as long as I had felt good and confident within myself then I was ready. But little did I know that was so much more that I needed to work thru in order to be really ready for a relationship.
There is no set date that you will know when you are finally ready for a relationship. Knowing when you are ready is really a matter of trial and error. While there are some issues that can be worked thru before getting involved in a relationship, there are other issues that will raise their heads during your love relationships. Some of those issues are:
1. Extreme Jealousy
2. Possessiveness
3. Manipulative behaviours such as playing mind games
4. Spitefulness
5. Lack of healthy compromise
6. Affairs/Cheating
If you are exhibiting any of those issues during your love relationship chances are you are not ready for a relationship. If there are still issues regarding healthy compromise and you still have it's all about me attitude with no regard for your partner then you are not ready for a relationship. Engaging in sexual relations with anyone outside of your relationship signifies a lack of emotional growth, which in turn signifies that you or your partner is not ready for a committed relationship. For you to be ready for a relationship, you must be willing to do your own personal development and thus be willing and open to continue working on yourself once you are in a relationship. This would work best if your partner is also open to personal development which would lead to continuous emotional growth for the both of you and for your relationship. However, if your partner is not open to personally developing themselves then it is up to you to walk away from this individual realizing that they are not ready for a mature relationship.
A relationship is not only about commitment, it is also about two emotionally healthy people who have the utmost respect for themselves and for each other who have worked thru their respective emotional issues or are willing to work thru them for the success of the relationship. Constant work is needed to for you to develop emotionally, spiritually and mentally. However, the work is necessary if we really want to be ready for a relationship.
Trudy-Ann Ewan, Founder and Executive Director of Create Your Passion Creative Life Coaching, is a Creative Life Coach, Freelance Writer and Motivational Speaker who specializes in the healing of mind, body, heart and spirit. To learn more visit her website at: http://www.createyourpassion.com where you can sign up for her free informative Newsletters, participate in interactive quizzes and Coaching Assessments and where you can also join her coaching program.
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