For most of us, getting over your first love can seem impossible. It's hard to believe that we can ever really be happy again or that we will ever find someone who 'gets' us the same way our love did. The truth is, no matter how hard it is to believe right now, that as humans we are capable of loving many people. We can love very deeply and while we won't love each person in exactly the same way, we can have more than one 'true love' in our lifetimes. The most important thing you need to do is get yourself in a position where you will be able to love again, and that will take some time.
Here are the best steps for making a clean break so that you can move on and find love at some point:
1. You have to face the fact that your relationship is over. This is unbelievably hard to do. You thought the two of you would be together forever and you can't imagine that it could really be over. You have to face the fact that it is over and cut off all communication with your ex.
2. Do not allow yourself to hide away. A few days, or weeks, of wallowing and hiding out is ok, but after that it's time for you to rejoin the world. That's not to say that you should start dating, you probably shouldn't at this point, but you can start spending time with family and friends and not just moping around in your bathrobe for days on end.
3. Do those things that you weren't able to do when the two of you were together. In all relationships there are things that one person doesn't want to do and more often than not the person who does like to do it doesn't get the chance. Now is the time to revisit those things that you've put on hold. Remember the activities and places that once brought you joy and let them bring you joy again.
4. Take this time to reevaluate who you are and what you want. Make yourself the best 'you' you can be. Lose weight, take a class, find a new job, paint your house, it doesn't matter what it is as long as it will have a positive impact on your life. These types of activities will make you feel a little more in control and will help you grow as a person. They can also give you something to distract yourself from the pain you are feeling, at least for a short time.
5. This is the hardest one... give yourself time. Whether you believe it or not at this point, some day the pain will fade and just be a memory and when that day comes you will be ready to love again. You have to give yourself the time you need to mourn your lost love and regain your strength. Don't let others tell you when you should be over it, you will get over it at your pace. However, if you don't seem to be moving forward even a little after several months you may need to have a counselor help you through the grieving process.
Getting over your first love will seem like an impossible task. After all, this is the first time you've ever felt like this and it's easy to believe that you could never possible feel this way again, but you can, and if you give yourself time you will.
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