Saturday, July 7, 2012

Are you happy in your marriage

Are you happy in your marriage?

As the divorce rate seems to continue to rise, it makes me wonder how many people are really happy in their marriages.

One of the best studies of marital happiness reported that about 60 percent of the respondents rated their marriage as "very happy". Yet of that same group, only 66 percent reported that their spouse respected their opinion. Only 64 percent of them said that their spouse made them feel important. Only 51 percent of them felt that their spouse was romantic. When you add to these numbers the fact that almost 35 percent of couples rated their marriage as just "pretty happy", and that 37 percent of all woman polled admitted there was a time when they were prepared to leave their husband, it becomes obvious that in the typical marriage, genuine happiness seems almost subdued. It's almost like we are programmed to say that.

Is subdued marital happiness such a big deal? Absolutely! Dozens of studies have concluded that the best predictor of overall happiness in life is marital happiness. A happy marriage predicts overall happiness better than job satisfaction, family life, friendships, finances or good health. Happily married people live longer, have better adjusted children and are healthier both mentally and physically.

Do people strive and hope for more happiness in their marriage? Are you really happy in your marriage? Most couples report regular efforts to sustain and improve happiness in their own marriage.

In another survey, couples were asked "If you had to do it all over again, would you marry the same person?" 88 percent said "yes," But astoundingly, 26 percent of those that voted "mostly dissatisfied" in their marriage also answered "yes" as did 23 percent of those that voted "completely dissatisfied." It is unclear why, but many people don't want to give up when it comes to their marriage- even if the marriage is making them unhappy.

Does our level of marital happiness predict who will eventually divorce? Not quite. It appears that most couples who are the most happy are very unlikely to divorce, but many unhappy couples do remain together. Improving marital happiness is a total benefit to you and your partner and everyone around you.

Again, I am going to ask "Are you happy in your marriage?"

Here are a few simple questions that you could ask yourself to help answer that question. Your answer needs to be one of these 3- Mostly true, Sometimes true, Mostly False

* Do I admire my partner?
* When we are apart, do I think fondly of my partner and miss them?
* Do arguments with my partner tend to escalate with no satisfying resolution?
* Do one of us have a problem with addiction (such as alcohol, drugs, gambling or pornography?
* If my partner does or says something that I don't like, do I view them as having a serious flaw?
* Does my partner frequently say or do mean or hurtful things?
* Do we have at least 20 minutes a day of quality "couple" time?
* Do things have to go my partner's way most of the time?
* Are you satisfied with your sexual relationship?
* Can each of us admit when we are wrong?
* Do I fantasize about leaving my partner for someone else?
* Do we show affection regularly?

For more talk and videos on improving happiness within your marriage- Visit my main site


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