Sunday, July 8, 2012

Winning at love- Encourage each other's dreams

Winning at love- Encourage each other's dreams

Winning at love really isn't that difficult. Your mate probably has some personal dreams that they would like to fulfill. Some type of accomplishments that they would like to make. Maybe they would like to start their own business or learn to fly an airplane etc. Maybe you would like to do the same.

Some openly discourage their partner's ideas because they feel that they are impractical. ("We can't afford it, what do you know about flying airplanes anyway etc?") But such comments often have the reverse effect. Challenging your mate often prompts them to come up with more reasons why the idea could work. More importantly, if your partner regards you as unsupportive, they will distance themself from you emotionally and probably spend more time fantasizing about the dream and proving you wrong.

Discouragement is often a clue that the idea is scary, not necessarily impractical. Your partner might be scared because your dreams clash with their expectations of your life together. Some people feel threatened by a mate's dreams and goals. You may feel that their dreams suggest that they need more from their life than they are currently getting- something that you may translate as "I'm not good enough for them."

It's important to remember that a lot of people fantasize more than they act on their fantasies. Most of the time, your partner just wants to dream aloud, not engage in a serious discussion of the idea. Encouraging each other's dreams or simply agreeing, "that does sound exciting or interesting" does no harm and helps bring you closer. It shows you are interested in what they have to say. Again, this is one of the situations whereas you need to pick your battles. Whether or not dreams get acted upon is less important than how close you feel to one another by hearing each other's dreams.

One factor that can really damage relationships occurs when one partner believes that the other one is holding them back from achieving their dreams. This is another good reason to be supportive and encourage each other's dreams. If they don't materialize (which half of the times, they don't) you wont be blamed.

Did you know that women are much more likely than men to give up on personal dreams that do not involve the relationship. While this might be called self-sacrificing, it is often done as women have more pressure on them not to be "selfish.". Husbands need to be aware of this and encourage wives to seek some kind of dream fulfillment even if it takes time from the home or the relationship.

Honoring and encouraging each other's dreams is an ultimate way to say, "I love you."

Winning at love is not hard. It just takes knowledge :-)
Men are actually very easy instruments. You just need to know how to play the instrument.

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