Sunday, June 3, 2012

Fighting over stupid things in relationships

Fighting over stupid things in relationships

Fighting over stupid things in a relationship is simply sweating the small stuff. I see couples arguing and bickering over the most stupid things. People argue over whose turn it was to take out the trash, who has more free time, who works harder, who is a better driver etc. It's ridiculous and a waste of time. Yet, many couples will tell you that they rarely bicker over truly significant issues. Why is that? Why waste time or energy on such insignificant things? You could be taking that time and energy and putting it towards enjoying your relationship and life more.

When you eliminate fighting over stupid things in your relationship, it opens the door to a different kind of relationship. It's a lot more fun to be around someone who isn't always bothered by something. It's refreshing, inviting and nourishing. When you refuse to fight over stupid things, you truly reconnect with your partner. You remember why you fell in love in the first place. You become true partners.

When things don't get to you so much and you are more positive, you remind your partner why he or she is truly fond of you. Your sense of humor comes out and that is important. You become more interesting, more intriguing. People desire to be around other peole who make life easier for them, someone who is easy to be around and someone who is fun. If you become less inclined to fight over silly little things, you will become far more desirable to your partner in every way.

Remember that, far from being stress-reducing, it's stress producing and a real drag to be around someone who is always irritated at something you're doing and always picking fights over stupid things. Why would you ever want to be around someone who is always a second away from starting a fight? It's no fun and extremely stressful.

If you can't help yourself and find that you can't stop starting fights over stupid things with your partner, than you probably need to re-evaluate your relationship. It probably means that you simply aren't happy. It's helpful to reflect on those things that are really important. Again, this comes back to picking your battles. Make a commitment to let go of everything else. Ask yourself the question, "Do I want my life to be about fighting over stupid things and demanding that everyone else, especially the people that I say I love, be different?" By simply asking this question in an honest manner to yourself, the answer should become an obvious "NO".

This will help you to see that when you get annoyed and bothered enough to fight over stupid things, what you're really doing is defining yourself as a partner who is unable to stay focused on the gifts and strengths of your relationship. Yes, this can be humbling. In fact, it can be a straight up frightening realization. Yet, it is such an important insight. Once you turn your judgements around and see how you are contributing to the problems, you can begin to shift away from the tendencies to fight and learn to let things go and remain focused on having a positive relationship.

Make being happy more important in your life than being stubborn.

Every time I see the below inspirational relationship quote, I think of my husband (my best friend) :-)

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