Thursday, June 28, 2012

Questions for couples to ask before marriage

Questions for couples to ask before marriage

Marriage is a huge step in a person's life and there are questions that couples should ask each other before getting married.

Five Important Questions to Ask Before Getting Married

Five Important Questions to Ask Before Getting Married

By Sarah A Harris

Taking the leap from the single life to married life isn't just about getting engaged and then married. Sure, the engagement and wedding are two of the most important events that will occur in your life, but the whole idea behind marriage is much more important than the celebratory day. Marriage is a lifetime commitment, a promise you are making to another person to be there for them for the rest of your life. This is not something to be taken lightly and should be thought through long and hard before the final decision is made.

Before taking that walk down the aisle, there are a number of issues that need to be resolved between you and your fianc�. Marriage is all about commitment and communication, and what better way to prepare for your marriage than to start communicating now. Discuss the things that matter most in your life and what you want in the future. Sometimes you'll find that you are on different sides of the issues, and that's when a marriage will show signs of not working. It's best to clear the air with these open discussions now before you commit.

To get you started, here is a list of 5 of the most important issues to discuss with your future spouse.

1. Children

Having children is the biggest commitment you will make in life. Make sure that you and your wife or husband-to-be both want to either have children or not. It can be a mistake to think that this issue can be resolved down the road after you're already married. And most importantly, having a baby when one spouse doesn't want to is unfair to them and the child.

2. Sex

This is a tricky thing to talk about at the best of times. It can be uncomfortable, and no one ever wants to hurt someone else's feelings. Only time will tell if sexual habits will change, but if you have some issues in the bedroom regarding frequency, desire, preferences, expectations, etc. then talk about them now before getting married.

3. Money

Money is a tense subject for most people, and everyone spends and saves differently. Whether you decide to share all your finances once you're married, or have separate accounts is up to you. What you need to make sure of is that you're both comfortable with the lifestyle you lead, and how you both deal with money and the stresses it can cause.

4. Time

Balancing work and fun is a challenge to everyone. But when you're sharing your life with someone, you need to know how they like to spend their free time and if you enjoy doing things together. Don't grumble later when your spouse spends all their time on the computer or with a close friend when you knew they did that before. Talk about it now.

5. In-Laws

While your parents and future in-laws love you and care for you both, this does not give them license to interfere in your marriage. Issues with in-laws can break a marriage faster than anything else. If you see this as a potential problem, start discussing this with your future spouse as well as your parents. Setting boundaries before you get married will help keep your marriage out of your parents' business.

Sarah Harris is the marketing manager for Adiamor Diamond Engagement Rings. Adiamor offers a large selection of engagement rings, engagement ring settings, and other fine diamond jewelry at affordable prices.

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Important Questions to Ask a Future Spouse

Author: David Beart

They say that you'll know when you've met the right one. Chances are that you'll know that he or she is someone you hope to settle down with long before there is ever a ring in site, but before getting too far ahead of yourself there are a few questions to ask a future spouse that can give you a good glimpse of things to come so that you know what you're getting into.

You may think that you know all there is to know about your future spouse and he or she may seem like the perfect fit, but the marriage and day-to-day life together has a tendency of bringing out other sides of people that you may not have had the chance to see before hand. I'm not talking about a Jekyll and Hyde situation, but simply some habits and beliefs that may not seem all that important when you're just dating but could pose problems later on. Things like money, religion and family all have a way of creeping in between a couple and causing problems, so talking about these sorts of things before a marriage is extremely important so you both know where you stand on some potentially major issues.

Before getting into the specific questions to ask a future spouse, let's talk about how to ask them. Since some of these topics may strike a cord and be touchy for some, you need to approach them as gently as possible. There is no need to put the pressure on and imply that the answers will somehow make or break the relationship. You simply want to have a free and open conversation about some things that you're wondering about. The last thing you want is for them to feel as if they're being interrogated or judged. Something else that you must do is keep an open mind. This is easier said than done when the love of your life throws you for a loop with an answer you weren't expecting! Be calm, rational and understanding while you listen to their answers. Give them the chance to speak freely and resist the urge to put down or argue about the answers they give. Ultimately your goal is to get answers to the questions that will give you the best possible insight into your life with your new partner.

The 3 Most Important Questions to Ask BEFORE You Get Married

1. Do you want to have children?
Whether you want them or not, it's important that you both are completely clear on where you stand about the children issue long before saying 'I do'. This is a deal breaker because becoming a parent isn't something that one should have to forgo or sacrifice for someone else. Both parties have to be in agreement about an issue this important in order for a marriage to work.

2. Have you ever cheated on anyone?
Don't just assume that if they haven't already told you then it's because they've never been unfaithful in a relationship. If they answer yes to this question then you owe it to yourself to really try to understand why they were unfaithful and whether or not it's something that you're comfortable knowing as you commit to a lifetime with this person. Ask about the issues that may have led to them being unfaithful. Ask whether or not it was a one night stand or an all out emotional affair because it will help you to know if there were serious issues that led them astray or if they were simply just disrespectful of the relationship and other person. Use this information to help you figure out if they seem likely to do it again. Remember also that it has been shown that most people who have cheated do go on to do it again.

3. Ideally, how do you think finances should be handled in a marriage?
Money issues remain one of the leading causes of divorce so knowing in advance how you both will handle the finances is a definite must in order to keep the peace. This doesn't mean that you're doomed if one is a spender and the other is a penny pincher, but you do need to work out an arrangement that you're both comfortable with when it comes to finances. This is also when you'll find out whether or not your future spouse is old fashioned in their way of thinking in regards to who should be the bread winner which is also a potential source of trouble.

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About the Author

David Beart is the owner of the Professors House. This site covers relationship topics such as wedding information, dating, marriage and divorce.

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