Friday, June 22, 2012

How to be more loving in a relationship

How to be more loving in a relationship

Make a plan to become a more loving person. This plan needs to be critical. We're not talking about creating a plan in order to get more love or to manipulate someone into loving you, but simply a plan designed to become the most loving person that you can become.

We always increase the odds of making something happen when we have a plan designed to take us where we want to go. For example, If you want to lose weight and become more physically fit, we create a diet or a fitness plan. In business, we make a business plan.

Becoming a more loving person is no exception. Have a plan. Make short and long term goals towards becoming the person that you want to become.

Deep down, most people crave more love in their lives. Most people can identify what their ideal partner would be like or the ways that they would like their existing partner to change. Few people though have a plan designed to help themselves become more loving. You have little capacity to change someone else but you do have a great deal of influence over changing yourself.

We all have the capacity to change and to become the people that we truly want to be. Without a plan, however, it can be difficult or confusing to make those changes. Having a plan can help bring them changes to life.

Why Real Love Requires Self Love

Author: Dr Lisa Love


“We are want to condemn self-love; but what we really mean to condemn is contrary to self-love. It is that mixture of selfishness and self-hate that permanently pursues us, that prevents us from loving others, and that prohibits us from losing ourselves.” ~ Paul Valery, French Poet, 1871 - 1945


As a counselor I have often told people that they need to learn to love themselves. Yet, while saying this to others, I have at times taken pause to reflect and ask myself, “What does that really mean? How do we know the difference between a self-love and a selfish love? And, what can we do practically to love ourselves in the right way?” Perhaps the quote above holds a clue, because I believe true self love fills us with enough joy, peace, and love that our desire to be loving human beings grows. Because of this we want to express more empathy, compassion, and understanding towards others. Selfish love does the contrary. It increases our sense of self-loathing or our disdain and anger towards others. It causes us to act increasingly in our own best interests without considering the interests of others. It causes us to want to sacrifice others needs and desires in service to our own, instead of the other way around. Or, it causes us to self-destruct through a number of behaviors that may feel good temporarily, but ultimately they lead to the shutting down of our hearts and spiral us downward into increased self-loathing and self-reproach.

How then do we love ourselves in the right way? By first and foremost learning what love is. Then, by insisting that we feed ourselves with that love. This is best done by finding people who know how to love. From them we learn how to adopt loving mindsets, feelings, and behaviors. And, it is done by setting boundaries on people who don’t know how to encourage the greatest level of love in us. Because when we truly have that kind of love in our lives we are increasingly a blessing to others. Which is why real love requires that we love ourselves in the right way, so we can have the strength to love, the wisdom to love, and the energy to love those who need our love the most.


Dr. Lisa Love

Copyright © 2009 by Lisa Love. All Rights Reserved.


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About the Author

Dr. Lisa Love is the founder of LoveMovies! and also the best-selling author of BEYOND THE SECRET: Spiritual Power and the Law of Attraction; ATTRACTING REAL LOVE: 4 Steps for Finding the Love You Want; and SOUL SUCCESS: How to Create Joy & Prosperity in Good Times or Bad; MEDITATION: The Path to Peace. Buy these books and receive bonus gifts at my website. She is also a Life, Relationship, Law of Attraction, and Tranformational coach. There’s a reason my clients tell me by working with me they get major breakthroughs fast! Decades of coaching and counseling experience combined with my extensive training and work with clients from all backgrounds help my clients make shifts in a rapid way. Contact me to discover what I can do for you.



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