How Often Should You Call Him?Author: Kara Oh
Women write to me all the time wondering how often it's okay to call, text and email a new man. I think they ask because at an instinctual level, they know whatever they're doing is probably too much. So here are some guidelines so you will avoid the mistake of scaring a man off by being too needy and clingy.
When you're first getting to know a man, before you have established clearly (via a face-to-face conversation) that you are a couple, will not date anyone else and will not have sex with anyone else, your job is to receive and his is to give. You receive his pursuit of you, you receive his phone calls, his texts messages, emails, request to take you out on dates. His is to give to you attention, phone calls, texts, emails and requests to take you on dates.
You do not initiate phone calls, texts, emails at this stage. You WAIT to respond to him. You return his calls, respond to texts and emails, and say yes or not to his requests for dates. The moment you begin to make the calls, text him, send emails, or ask him to go on a date, you have begun to pursue him, which feels to him that you are taking over his job as the man. Because you are. Most men do not like this and will walk away from this kind of woman. To them it feels like you are being clingy and needy.
Another, even more important "job" of dating is, as you get acquainted, to determine if you should continue to pursue a relationship. Men do this better than women do. Men are able to just be in the moment, enjoy time with a woman, and if it keeps feeling good, keep seeing her. Women, on the other hand, tend to try to turn it into a relationship, sometimes–with online dating–even before you've met. You can't be objective when you're hoping, WAY TOO SOON, that it will become a relationship. Women need to learn from men to be more pragmatic and just enjoy it as a nice time spent together. That's it. And if you continue to have a nice time together, and learn things about each other that you like, respect and admire, you continue to see each other. Eventually, you realize you don't want to spend time with anyone else.
Women need to slow down and relax. It's just a date until you have that conversation that you will be a committed couple. And even then, it doesn't mean you're headed to the alter. It only means you're going to continue to see what's possible, but won't be dating anyone else for the time being.
So relax and just have fun allowing him to pursue you. That's the golden rule of dating. His job it to pursue you and yours is to RESPOND to his efforts at winning your heart. And you know what, if you learn to do this, it will feel a whole lot better than what you've been doing.
I share all of my secrets about men in Men Made Easy, a fun, easy read that shows you how easy it is to transform your relationships with men by developing your Feminine Grace.
From my heart to yours,
10 Ways to Get a Guy to Like YouAuthor: Shannon Sapperstein
10 Ways to Get a Guy to Like You
Here are 10 proven and powerful ways to get a guy to like you. Several of these 10 ways involve using powerful psychological principles such as psychological mirroring. You will make a guy feel like you are just like him which will naturally make him want to be with you.
10 powerful ways to get a guy to like you
- -This first way to get a guy to like you is the most powerful of all 10. It implements a psychological technique called mirroring. People are naturally drawn to and attracted to people they feel are just like them. That is because if somebody is just like ourselves we feel they would understand us and we would feel most comfortable with them. Most people attempt to do this consciously with spoken word. For example in conversation someone might say 'me too'. For example you say to somebody, 'I really like it when it snows'. To try to indicate commonality between the two of you they would respond with 'me too'. This is called a verbal mirroring. It works to some extent but nowhere near as powerfully as unconscious mirroring. The principle is simple. Imitate the guy you want to like you. What I mean by that is move like he moves. Now you don't want to do this exactly because otherwise it will look just look like you are imitating him. If he lifts his arm to scratch his head lift your arm and maybe rub your eyes. If he coughs, you clear your throat. If he talks rapidly, you talk rapidly. Basically what you want to do is use as much of your body as possible to mimic whatever he is doing. Dress in a manner similar to the way he dresses. What you are doing is building rapport on an unconscious level. And by doing it on an unconscious level it is much more powerful. Of all the ways you could possibly get a guy to like you this is by far the most powerful way. The net result will be that he will feel that you are just like him. He will have no clue why he feels this way which is what makes it so powerful. It Doesn't come off as manipulative in any way. Of all 10 Ways to Get a Guy to Like You this is by far the most powerful. Practice and become proficient at it and you will have a tool that will get almost any guy to like you. A great guide which is essentially the bible of how to get a guy to like you is the Be the Woman men Adore book.
- -Sit back and observe him. This is very important and you can think of it as studying your subject. Your doing research to be effective at mirroring him. Notice who he talks to. Pay attention to what interests him, things he reads. At a distance listen to what he talks about, what turns him on, what his passions are. This is knowledge you will acquire about the guy you want to like you that you can use in these 10 ways to get a guy to like you.
- -Be near him often. You don't even have to talk to him. Just being in his presence where he sees you many times throughout the day and during the week which will get him used to seeing you and comfortable with seeing you.
- -If you currently talk with him and are friendly with him spend time doing activities he is passionate about. The passion he feels for his hobbies and activities will rub off on you.
- -Don't be clingy or act desperate. If you act clingy or desperate your attempts to get a guy to like you, even if you implement all 10 Ways to Get a Guy to Like You, will fail miserably. You don't even have to initiate any get-togethers with them. Just implement these 10 ways to get a guy to like you and he will do all the work of actually getting together with you and setting up the dates.
- -Don't lie about who you are or pretend to be somebody you are not. Mirroring him is not lying. What I mean by that is if you hate spaghetti and Italian food don't tell them you'll like it just because he does. That would fall into Tip number four of 10 ways to get a guy like you - acting desperate.
- -Dress attractive. This may seem obvious but I just wanted to make sure I mentioned it. In a previous tip I mentioned to dress similar to the way he does as part of psychological mirroring. Do this but do so in a manner that is sexy and alluring and accentuates your better body parts.
- -Make him laugh. Everybody loves to laugh and if you can make him laugh on a regular basis he will naturally be drawn to you.
- -This particular way of getting a guy to like you will definitely takes some guts on your part but if you have the guts to pull it off you could possibly score big points with the guy. Be aggressive. Here's what I mean by that. After you have spent some time implementing all the above ways to get a guy like you perhaps a few weeks so you've had enough time to make the guy comfortable with your presence and you've had some time to use mirroring to create a comfort level you take the initiative to ask him out but do so in an aggressive manner. What I mean by that is show your attraction and interest in him directly and strongly. Come right out and say how you feel and then ask them out. So if you think he is hot, when you are ready turn to him, look him straight in the eye and say 'I think you are hot as hell I want to go out with you what you doing tonight?' Contrary to what many women think guys love an aggressive girl. It is very sexy, and powerful and at the same time is a direct and straightforward complement to him.
- -Grab a copy of the women and men adore. This is basically 150 page guide shows you how to captivate a man, and make him fall in love with you. It was written by relationship expert Bob Grant and in this guide he shows you the secret to understanding men and how to use it to your advantage to make yourself more appealing and more desirable than 99% of the women out there. When it comes to dealing with men and relationships if you often times find your self asking these questions:
"Why didn't he call?"
"How can I find the right man?
"Why do I always date losers?
"Why doesn't he love me anymore?
"What am I doing wrong?
"Why do some women have great relationships with men and mine are dull and boring?
"If only I could understand men...."
Then this guide is definitely for you. This article only revealed 10 Ways to Get a Guy to Like You. The 'women men adore' guide has hundreds of powerful ways to get a guy to like you.
Grab your copy of How to Be the Woman Men adore and be the woman ...
- -that men fall hopelessly in love with
- -with whom men want to spend all their time
- -whom men want to please and do anything for
- -who brings out the romantic and passionate side of a man;and
- -to whom men want to give everything?