Questionnaire for Couples to Get to know Each OtherAuthor: Robert Elias Najemy
Take turns answering these questions and learn more about how the people in your life think.
Do not comment on any answers. Simply accept what the other says without criticism or analysis.
1. I feel happy when _______________________________________.
2. I feel injustice when______________________________________.
3. I feel that you love me when you ___________________________.
4. I doubt that you love when you ____________________________.
5. I feel close to you when__________________________________.
6. I feel distant from you ___________________________________.
7. I feel angry when _______________________________________.
8. I need your understanding when____________________________.
9. One of my beliefs that makes me feel angry is _____________________.
10. When I fear, one of the beliefs that makes me fear is _________________.
11. Three things that I respect in you are ________________________________.
12. Three things that I need from you are _______________________________.
13. One of the ways in which I try to show my love is _____________________.
14. One of the ways in which I would like you to express your love to me is _______________.
15. When I am angry, I would like you to respond to me in the following way: _____________.
16. I feel blocked toward you when ___________________________.
17. I feel rejected when _____________________________________.
18. Three things that I loved when I was a child (1 - 12 years) were______________________.
19. As an adolescent, my main interests were ____________________.
20. My three main goals in life are _____________________________.
21. For me, God is ___________________________.
22. My physical needs are _____________________.
23. My emotional needs are ____________________.
24. My social needs are ________________________.
25. My professional needs are ___________________.
26. My spiritual needs are_______________________.
27. My mental needs are ________________________.
28. My needs that are not being fulfilled at the present time are ______________________.
29. I would like your help in fulfilling the following needs __________________________.
30. When you have a complaint for me, I would like you to express it in the following way: _____.
31. When you are angry with me, I would like you to express your anger in the following way:___.
32. When your needs are not being fulfilled in this relationship, I would like you to express those needs in the following way: ___________________________.
33. I would like you to express your love for me in the following ways : _________________.
34. When I fail at something, I feel ___________________________.
35. When you do not communicate with me, I feel _______________.
36. When I am criticized, I feel ______________________________.
37. I would like to spend our vacation time in the following place in the following way: ______.
38. My philosophy on bringing up children is ____________________.
39. Something that I need to tell you is __________________________.
40. I need you most when _____________________________________.
41. An event from the past that still bothers me is __________________.
42. A way in which I could participate more harmoniously in this relationship is ___________.
43. Something I would like for us to do together is _________________.
44. I need your cooperation with ________________________________.
45. I need your companionship when ____________________________.
46. Three things that I respect about myself are ____________________.
47. Forms of recreation which I enjoy are:________________________.
48. I feel close to God when ____________________________________.
49. When I first saw you, I felt __________________________________.
50. One of the complaints I have toward my parents is ________________.
51. My feelings about our sexual contact are ________________________.
52. I respect you when __________________________________________.
53. I occasionally need to be alone for the following reasons : __________.
54. If our home caught fire, the first three things I would save would be: ___.
55. I relax more easily when ______________________________________.
56. My feelings about our economic situation are ______________________.
57. I would like to get free from the habit of __________________________.
58. Three things I respect about you are: _____________________________.
59. I love you especially when _____________________________________.
60. My feelings of peace are dependent on ____________________________.
61. I have difficulty in expressing ___________________________________.
62. Something I would like to change about myself is ____________________.
63. Something which I would like to express concerning something that has already been said between us is ____________________.
64. My feelings about expressing affection are : ________________________.
65. I feel grateful toward you because ________________________________.
66. I wish for you that _____________________________________________.
67. Before I die, I would like to ______________________________________.
68. I would like to develop the following talents : ______________________.
69. I would like to ask forgiveness for__________________________________.
70. I feel gratitude toward my parents for _______________________________.
71. Something pleasant that has occurred recently is _______________.
72. I feel suppressed when ____________________________________________.
73. Some things I would like discuss when you have time are ______________.
75. Other ... Make up your own questions.
Robert E. Najemy, author of 25 books and life coach with 30 years of experience, has trained over 300 life coaches and now does so over the Internet. Become a life coach.
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Getting to know each other