Taking the Leap Out of Friend ZoneAuthor: Matt Burges
Am I in love with my best friend? Having a best friend from the opposite sex always throws up a red flag. Are you really just friends, or is something else going on. A best friend is the kind of relationship or friendship that means you always got each others back no matter what. It is a tie between you and your buddy that can not be broken and will remain that way for the rest of your life, so you hope. There is nothing wrong with having a best friend from the opposite sex. The only thing is the risk of attraction and the feeling of care that develops as time goes on.
If you found this article you may find yourself in a little predicament. You must have feelings for a friend that is dear to you and you are debating on whether or not you should take that leap out of friend zone. There is no right answer on whether you should or should not. The biggest debate is, am I going to get what I want or am I going to loose a friend? Maybe everything can just remain the same, who knows? The most important thing you should be thinking about is yourself and how strongly you feel. Maybe it is worth loosing a friend just so you can get your head out of the clouds and move on. Maybe your buddy feels the same way and you will be releasing the both of you from holding back any longer.
If you think or know you are in love. This is your time to shine and let it all out. There is no point in sitting in the same spot any longer. You need to know if this person feels the same way. The longer you hide the feelings of love the worse you are going to feel if things do not work out in your favor. Being in love happens more than once. You really should spill the beans and invest your heart in someone or something else. If things get uncomfortable and do not work out to your favor. Lay off for a while and let your heart heal. Just tell this person, look I really care about you and I value your friendship but, I need to lay off for a while so I can get my head back in order. If you do this, you may find that after a while you were more in to the anticipation of a relationship developing rather than a true friendship. There is nothing wrong with that. We are all human and there is no way you can just not have feelings for someone. If they touched your heart then it was all for good reason. If you find that your friend feels the same way. Take it slow and do not rush. Adding intimacy to a friendship can make things a little different. It all depends on the chemistry.
Chemistry is something that can only be felt between two people. If you are feeling chemistry with your friend then you have a good chance of it working out to your favor. Chemistry is like having your soul connected in certain ways. The comfort and freedom of being yourself around this person is as easy as can be. You feel good with each other, safe and always seem to find humor in the same things. If you are feeling chemistry then I guarantee your friend is too. Go for it. Give your friend little hints. Say things like I feel good with you, it has been so long since I kissed someone or give a kiss on the cheek, a spontaneous hug, back rubs etc. See how they react. It may give you an idea of what will happen or it will just happen on its own.
If you have feelings for a friend and you are not sure at all how they are going to react and it is driving you nuts. Its time to play the game. Do things to make this person jealous. Start avoiding your friend a bit and you may get a good idea if they care about you like that or not. This is kind of childish but a good tactic to use.
A couple months ago I tried to leap my way out and I did it by text message. I am an idiot. I never saw her again. I thought there was chemistry and I was confused on whether or not I was in love. I got over it after a month, so I know I was not in love. That is a good thing. On all honesty I do still care about her and miss her. I really wish she was still my friend. I learned that the friendship was more important to me than anything. Crap happens and she really made me want to be a better man. It was a great experience knowing her and a lot of fun. I lost a friend but learned more about myself. She inspired me to go after what I want and try to think for myself a little more. Everything happens for a reason and the pain goes away. The good thing is that I know now. She did not feel the same way. It is a nice release so I was able to move on.
The decision to take the leap out of friend zone all depends on how long you have been friends with this person and how bad you want him or her. Try to figure out what is most important to you,the friendship or love. Follow your heart and I am sure you will be fine. You may loose a friend but, you can always gain another.
Telling your friend how you really feel is a risky thing but maybe it is time to know if your true love has been by your side all this time. A broken heart can be hard to deal with but, it is always a good thing taking the next step to a new change in life. If you liked this, check out my blog, howtobeoptimistic.org.